"The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them" is a jocular line about cooking. "The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen (says Franklin…
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” is an old saying. "Ironically, I've now got to see a doctor about my apple addiction!" was posted on Twitter by Richard White on April 16,…
"The worst thing about censorship is -- " -- the last part is blacked out -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. The censorship saying has been cited in print since at least…
Many people have difficulty parallel parking -- and they'd prefer that no one watch them do it. "The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses" is a jocular saying that was…
Marathon runners often suffer from fatigue and hit "the wall," but it's usually not the Great Wall of China. "I'v just got home after taking part in the Chinese Marathon.…
"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. It's not known who first told the joke. New York…
"Theater is a verb before it is a noun, an act before it is a place" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is credited to American modern dancer and choreographer…
"Theatre is life, cinema/film is art, and television is furniture" is an aphorism frequently used in the entertainment world. The saying has been put on T-shirts since at least January…
To "look good on paper" means to look good in theory, but not necessarily in practice. The phrase doesn't always involve actual paper, but there are jokes. "The 'Paperless…
"That bit between Christmas and New Year where you don’t know what day it is, who you are or what you’re suppose(d) to be doing" is a jocular end-of-year saying that has been printed…
"Them that has, gits" was mentioned in a Boston (MA) Record anecdote in 1885. Two women were chatting, and one said that the Biblical Sarah was left a lot of money. The other woman…
A government "gun buyback program" is a misnomer, since the government is buying the guns of private citizens and not "buying them back." "How can you 'buy back'…
"I'm not an early bird or a night owl. I'm more of a tired afternoon duck" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm not an early bird and I'm not a…
"Them: Show me proof." / "Me: *Sends proof*" / "Them (with eyes covered, not looking at the proof): You're a conspiracy theorist!" is a meme that has been printed…
A popular business joke shows the difference between sales promises and business reality. A man dies and is told that he can tour heaven and hell, and then choose which place to spend eternity. He…
"There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair" has been printed on…
Are there just two genders -- male and female -- or are there more? "There’s only 10 genders. Those who’s gender is binary, and those who’s gender isn’t" was posted on Twitter on…
Many people put up Christmas decorations early, such as in November. "There are twelve days of Christmas. None of which are in fucking November" is a saying that has been printed on many…
"There are 13 minerals that are essential to human life, and all of them are found in wine. Coincidence? I think not!" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. The saying…
"There are a thousand ways to lose a horse race and only one way to win" is an old horse racing adage. "Jim Fitzsimmons has contended for many years that there are 1,500 ways to lose…