“Practice safe text –- use commas and never miss a period”
"Practice safe text -- -- use commas and never miss a period" is a jocular line that has been printed on GIFs. "Practice safe text" was used in a 2009 program to caution drivers…
Alphebetical for "p"
“Practice social media distancing”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic required many people to use "social distancing" (standing six feet away). Many people also practiced "social media distancing" -- staying away…
“Praise works with only three types of people; men, women and children”
"Praise works with only three types of people; men, women and children" -- that is, everyone -- is a saying encouraging the giving of praise. The saying was posted on the newsgroup…
“Praising the government for reopening the country is like thanking your abuser when they stop”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many lockdowns and reopenings. Many people believed that the lockdowns were unnecessary. "Praising the government for reopening your state is…
“Praising the government for reopening the province is like thanking your abuser when they stop”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many lockdowns and reopenings. Many people believed that the lockdowns were unnecessary. "Praising the government for reopening your state is…
“Praising the government for reopening your state is like thanking your abuser when they stop”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many lockdowns and reopenings. Many people believed that the lockdowns were unnecessary. "Praising the government for reopening your state is…
“Prawnography: (n) - a documentary on shrimp”
"Prawnography" (prawn + pornography) is a portmanteau that has appeared in many jokes. "I wonder if shrimp are into prawnography?" was posted on Twitter by Al Dopa on December…
“Prayer is the world’s greatest wireless connection”
"Prayer is the world's greatest wireless connection" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Just saw a church sign that said 'prayer is the greatest wireless…
“Prayers work best when you have big players”
University of Notre Dame head football coach Frank Leahy (1908-1973) wrote 10 thoughts in 1946, one of which was: "7 -- Prayers work better when your players are big." The line is often…
“Pre-school rules and bar rules are the same. You piss your pants, you go home”
"Preschool rules and bar rules are the same. You pee your pants, you go home" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Nursery school rules and bar rules are the…
“Preach to the choir” (“Preach to the converted”)
To "preach to the converted" means to bring a message before people who already believe (or are predisposed to believe) that message. The preaching doesn't win over any new converts.…
“Predictive text really gets my toga”
"Predictive text really gets my toga" was posted on Facebook by Neil Davis on April 6, 2012. "I feckin hate predictive text it really gets my toga up!! ;@)" was posted on…
“Preheat minutes are longer than regular minutes”
Preheating an oven might take 12-15 minutes. To many people, these minutes seem long. "Idk about y'all, but I think oven preheat minutes are longer than microwave minutes..." was…
“Premature treejaculation—the act of erecting one’s festive decor in any month prior to December”
"premature treejaculation trejahk-yal•ay:shun the act of erecting one's festive decor in any month prior to December" is a jocular definition that has been printed on many images.…
“Preschool rules and bar rules are the same. You pee your pants, you go home”
"Preschool rules and bar rules are the same. You pee your pants, you go home" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Nursery school rules and bar rules are the…
“Pressing the key fob once locks the car. Pressing it like eight or nine times SUPER locks it”
Many people click the car locked more than once. This was posted on Twitter by Ygrene on June 11, 2022, and received over 202,400 likes: "Everyone knows that pressing the key fob once locks…
“Pressing the lock button on your car keys twice is essential. Just like saving your game twice”
Many people do things twice, just to make sure. "Pressing the lock button on your car keys twice is essential. Just like saving your game twice on Pokemon! #essetiallifestyle" was posted…
“Pressure can burst a pipe or pressure can make a diamond”
"Pressure can burst a pipe or pressure can make a diamond" means that pressure can bring out the best or the worst. ""Pressure made the diamond," entertainer Diana Ross…
“Pretend to honk if you like mimes” (bumper sticker)
Entry in progress -- BP Twitterzeppy.io weird@zeppy_weird#Funny "pretend to honk if you like mimes" new bumper sticker, #clown, #weird dec,…
“Pretty excited about making a huge Thanksgiving feast so my daughter can eat a roll”
Many people prepare a huge Thanksgiving feast, but one person (usually a daughter) doesn't eat much. "Pretty excited about making a huge Thanksgiving feast so my daughter can eat a…