“One more drink and I’d have been under the host!”
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) was known for her wit and often lunched at the Algonquin Hotel (59 West 44th Street in Manhattan), forming a "Round Table" of gossip and ideas with other…
Alphebetical for "o"
“One more week until I let a professional football team determine my mood for the next four months”
Many people become emotionally attached to sports teams for an entire sports season. "one week until i let a college football team determine my mood for the next 4 months" was posted on…
“One naked individual” (Pledge of Allegiance mondegreen)
The Pledge of Allegiance of the United States has been recited by millions of school children, and many of them say the wrong words. These mishearings or misinterpretations are called…
“One nation and a vegetable” (Pledge of Allegiance mondegreen)
The Pledge of Allegiance of the United States has been recited by millions of school children, and many of them say the wrong words. These mishearings or misinterpretations are called…
“One nation gone under” (joke on “One nation under God”)
U.S. President Ronald Reagan spoke about the importance of god in government at an ecumenical prayer breakfast in Dallas, Texas, on August 23, 1984: "Without God, there is no virtue, because…
“One nation in a dirigible” (Pledge of Allegiance mondegreen)
The Pledge of Allegiance of the United States has been recited by millions of school children, and many of them say the wrong words. These mishearings or misinterpretations are called…
“One Nation Under CCTV”
"I pledge allegiance to the ASBO, the Identity Card and Giro. And the country for which it stands, One nation, under CCTV, With violence and bingeing for all," a proposed pledge of…
“One nation, invisible” (Pledge of Allegiance mondegreen)
The Pledge of Allegiance of the United States has been recited by millions of school children, and many of them say the wrong words. These mishearings or misinterpretations are called…
“One nation, under a fraud, with tyranny and injustice for all”
"One nation, under fraud" -- a variation on "One nation, under God" of the Pledge of Allegiance -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The Second City's…
“One nation, under fraud, completely visible, with spying on and lying to all”
"One nation, under fraud" -- a variation on "One nation, under God" of the Pledge of Allegiance -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The Second City's…
“One nation, under fraud, with tyranny and injustice for all”
"One nation, under fraud" -- a variation on "One nation, under God" of the Pledge of Allegiance -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The Second City's…
“One nation, under fraud”
"One nation, under fraud" -- a variation on "One nation, under God" of the Pledge of Allegiance -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The Second City's…
“One nation, under guard, invisible” (Pledge of Allegiance mondegreen)
The Pledge of Allegiance of the United States has been recited by millions of school children, and many of them say the wrong words. These mishearings or misinterpretations are called…
“One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day”
"One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day" and "Nuclear war can spoil your whole day" are anti-nuclear sayings that have been printed on many images. "Tom Carpenter, a…
“One nuclear bomb can spoil your whole day”
"One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day" and "Nuclear war can spoil your whole day" are anti-nuclear sayings that have been printed on many images. "Tom Carpenter, a…
“One of my biggest fears is that I’ll marry into a family that does 5Ks on holidays”
Many runs are planned over holiday weekends, such as a 5k "turkey trot" over Thanksgiving. "I pray to god I never marry into a family that runs 5ks on thanksgiving" was posted…
“One of my chief regrets is that I couldn’t sit in the audience and watch me act”
John Barrymore (1882-1942) was an American actor of stage and screen. The following barrymore comment was cited in print in 1938 about his many years in the theatre: "One of my chief regrets…
“One of my favorite hobbies is filling jockeys’ saddles full of lentils, chickpeas and kidney beans. That gets the pulses racing”
A "pulse" can mean a palpable beat of an artery, and a "pulse" can also mean an edible seed of the legume family. Some "pulses racing" jokes confuse the two meanings.…
“One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music. I think it’s the Chopin board”
The Polish composer Frédéric François Chopin’s last name can sound like “chopping,” and there are jokes. "One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music. Think…
“One of my waffles is crazier than the other. It’s my alter Eggo”
Eggo is a brand of frozen waffles. There is no "alter Eggo" (alter ego + Eggo), but there are jokes. "My Alter-Eggo is craving pancakes right about now. Maybe even fresh blueberry…