“Not even God can hit a 1-iron” (golf joke)
When lightning comes to the golf course, some jocular advice is to hold a one-iron aloft and start walking, because "not even God can hit a 1-iron." The advice has been cited in print…
Alphebetical for "n"
“Not every meal needs to be elegant. Sometimes you just make a chicken and then stand over the stove picking at it like seagulls in a parking lot”
Not every meal is elegant, or needs to be. This was posted on Bluesky by 🌴✨🦋 Kathryn 🦋✨🌴 on May 20, 2025: "Not every meal needs to be elegant. Sometimes, you just make a…
“Not everyone at your workplace is your friend. Do your job. Get paid. Go home”
"Not everyone at your workplace is your friend. Do your job/work. Get paid. Go home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that while it might be nice to be…
“Not everyone at your workplace is your friend. Do your work. Get paid. Go home
"Not everyone at your workplace is your friend. Do your job/work. Get paid. Go home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that while it might be nice to be…
“Not everything has to be aesthetic. Sometimes your oatmeal can just look like cement. It’s fine”
Oatmeal can look like cement. "I will never eat oatmeal in my life that shit look like a pile of hot cement" was posted on X/Twitter by Derek Oliver ™ on July 8, 2011. "Why the…
“Not everything that is faced can be changed”
American novelist James Baldwin (1924-1987) wrote in the New York (NY) Times on January 14, 1962: "Not everything that is faced can be changed; but nothing can be changed until it is…
“Not far right. Just right so far”
"I'm not far right. I'm just right so far" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. "Not far right - just Right So Far 😉" was posted on Twitter…
“Not feelin’ this whole Monday thing”
"Nope. Not feelin' this whole Monday thing" is a Monday saying that has been printed on many images. Monday is the traditional start of the work week. "not feeling this whole…
“Not forcing you, just taking away everything until you consent”
"Not forcing you, just taking away everything until you consent" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying usually refers to government persuasion to get people to take…
“Not guilty, but return the horse” (Old West Justice)
The following joke is told under the title of "Old West Justice." A horse is stolen from a very unpopular man. The jury returns a verdict of "Not guilty, but return the horse."…
“Not having sex after getting drunk is a waste of alcohol, honestly”
"Not having sex after getting drunk is (just) a waste of alcohol, honestly" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "not having sex after getting drunk is just a waste of…
“Not having sex after getting drunk is just a waste of alcohol, honestly”
"Not having sex after getting drunk is (just) a waste of alcohol, honestly" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "not having sex after getting drunk is just a waste of…
“Not hearing crunch in a crunchy food is mostly okay, but hearing a crunch in a non-crunchy food is terrifying”
"Feeling a crunch in a non-crunchy food is one of the most terrifying experiences you can have while eating" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on…
“Not interested in a ‘career’ just looking for the least annoying way to afford food and shelter”
"Not interested in a 'career' just looking for the least annoying way to afford food and shelter" is a work saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on…
“Not Just Wall Street. Every Street.” (New York Times slogan)
The Wall Street Journal expanded in April 2010 to give local news coverage to New York City. The New York Times trademarked this slogan in April 2010: "Not Just Wall Street. Every…
“Not knowing the truth makes you ignorant. Not wanting to know the truth is what makes you stupid”
"Not knowing the truth makes you ignorant. Not wanting to know the truth is what makes you stupid" or "Not knowing the truth doesn’t make you ignorant. Not wanting to know the…
“Not many people know this but I actually studied dad jokes in college. I majored in sighchology”
"Psychology" shouldn't be confused with "sighchology" (sigh + psychology), but there are dad jokes. "Not many people know this but I actually studied dad jokes in…
“Not my circus, not my monkeys. But the clowns definitely know me”
"Not my circus, not my monkeys" -- meaning "not my business" -- is a Polish saying (nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy) that became popular in English by about 2013. "Not my…
“Not my circus, not my monkeys”
"Not my circus, not my monkeys" -- meaning "not my business" -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is Polish (nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy). The…
“Not only did I fall off the diet wagon, I dragged it into the woods, set it on fire…”
"Not only did I fall off the diet wagon, I dragged it into the woods, set it on fire and used the insurance money to buy cupcakes/Twinkies" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…