“My body only fights off illness on Saturday and Sunday. I have a weekend immune system”
"Weakened immune system" shouldn't be confused with "weekend immune system," but there are jokes. "I'm intrigued by the 'weekend immune system'. Does…
Alphebetical for "m"
“My body used to be a temple. Now it’s a combination of a liquor store & a Mexican restaurant”
"My body used to be a temple. Now it’s a combination of a liquor store & a Mexican restaurant" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by…
“My body, my choice”
"My body, my choice" is a popular women's rights slogan that has been printed on many images. The slogan has been used for such topics as abortion and vaccination. "Me, my body,…
“My book club only reads wine labels”
"My book club only reads wine labels" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as tote bags, T-shirts and posters. Sally Beerworth, author of the book Updating…
“My boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I said he doesn’t hire stupid people”
"When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him, I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Boss…
“My boss calls me ‘The Computer.’ I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes”
"My friends call me 'The Computer'. Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes" was posted on Twitter by Ben on May 20, 2015.…
“My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. I feel like this is the end of my Korea”
"My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. It was the end of my Korea" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 19, 2019. "I'm still China find a new job" was…
“My boss just appointed me as his sexual consultant” (joke)
"My boss just appointed me as his sexual consultant," an old joke goes. "His exact words were, 'When I want your fucking advice, I’ll ask for it.'" The joke was…
“My boss phoned to ask how large my coffee mug is. It was a big weigh cup call”
"Wake-up call" sounds a little bit like "weigh cup call," so there are puns. "My GP rang to say that checking the heaviness of my coffee mug might solve the mystery of my…
“My boss said he’ll fire the employee with the worst posture. I’ve got a hunch it might be me”
An employment joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on September 14, 2010: "My boss said he's going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I've got a hunch it might be…
“My boss said to me, ‘You’re the worst train driver ever!’” (joke)
A train joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on September 19, 2012, and probably originated on the Sickipedia website: "You're the worst fucking train driver ever," said my…
“My boss told me time is money. I don’t buy that for a second”
"Time is money" is a proverb that was popularized by Benjamin Franklin (1705-1790). A joke was posted by Steven W Skinner on Twitter on January 18, 2016: "People say time is money-…
“My boss told me to have a great day. So I went home”
"My boss told me to have a good/great/nice day. So I went home" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "This morning my boss told me to have a good day... so I went…
“My boss touched me inappropriately at work today. But it’s okay, I’m self-employed”
A sexual harassment at work joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 14, 2017: "My boss touched me inappropriately at work today. But it's okay, i'm self-employed." Reddit…
“My boss yelled, ‘You’ve been late 3 times this week, Do you know what that means?’”(Wednesday joke)
"My boss yelled, 'You've been late 3 times this week, Do you know what that means?' Apparently, 'It's Wednesday' wasn't the correct answer" is a jocular…
“My boss yelled, ‘You’ve been late 5 times this week, Do you know what that means?’” (Friday joke)
"My boss yelled, 'You've been late 5 times this week, Do you know what that means?' Apparently, 'It's Friday' wasn't the correct answer" is a jocular…
“My brain has too many tabs open”
"My brain has too many tabs open" -- that is, a person (like a computer) is too busy with too much work -- is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "I feel…
“My brain just logged me out due to inactivity and now I can’t remember my password”
"My brain just logged me out due to inactivity and now I can't remember my password" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on X/Twitter by…
“My brother ate a Rolex because I told him ‘watch his mouth’”
A Rolex is an expensive watch. "My brother ate a Rolex cause I told him 'watch his mouth'" is from a short rap video that was posted on Twitter by Girlhefunnyaf4 on September…
“My brother is dating a girl named Rosemary. I don’t know what he season her”
"Season" sounds like "sees in." A joke was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic (and others) on July 29, 2014: "My brother is dating a girl named Rosemary. I don't know…