“If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way”
"If your wife want to learn to drive, don't stand in her way" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Warning: If your wife wants to learn to drive,…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way”
"Don't stand in their way" usually means don't oppose, but a joke takes this literally. "Our friend, E. J. Canada, over in Luther, says that if your wife wants to learn to…
“If youth is wasted on the young, then wealth is wasted on the old”
"Youth is wasted on the young" has been credited to Irish-born playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950). A second line about wealth is sometimes added to this saying. “If you ask me,…
“If zombies attack, go to Costco…” (joke)
"If zombies attack, go to Costco..." (or "If zombies attack, go to Sam's Club...") is a joke that has been printed on many images. Here's why -- "There’s cement…
“If zombies attack, go to Sam’s Club…” (joke)
"If zombies attack, go to Costco..." (or "If zombies attack, go to Sam's Club...") is a joke that has been printed on many images. Here's why -- "There’s cement…
“Ignorance is the single greatest tool of oppression”
"The single greatest tool of oppression is ignorance" (or "Ignorance is the single greatest tool of oppression") is a saying that has been printed on many images. A discussion…
“IKEA is Swedish for divorce”
IKEAis a Swedish multinational group that is the world's largest furniture retailer. "IKEA" is an acronym that consists of the initials of Ingvar Kamprad (the founder), Elmtaryd (the…
“IKEA is testing a new restaurant experience at some of its stores…” (joke)
When a waiter says, “Your table will be ready shortly,” this does not mean that the restaurant is actually constructing a table, but there are jokes. “The waiter said, ‘Your table will be…
“IKEA: Legos for adults”
IKEA is a store that sells ready-to-assemble furniture. It's often been compared to children's LEGO plastic construction toys. "Adult Legos (IKEA)" was cited in May 2007.…
“Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.”
"Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian" has been cited in print since at least 1985, when it was credited to humorist Robert Orben. Another joke…
“Imagination is everything; it is the preview of life’s coming attractions”
"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions" is a popular quotation frequently attributed to physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955), but there is no…
“Imagine a virus so dangerous that you have to be tested to know if you have it”
"Imagine a virus so dangerous/deadly that you have to be tested to know if you have it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A photo of Rod Serling in a mock opening of the…
“Imagine a virus so deadly that it doesn’t infect those who don’t give a shit”
Many people got tested for COVID-19 (coronavirus), even though they displayed no symptoms of sickness. Government encouraged everyone to get tested, but many people (especially those young and in…
“Imagine a virus so deadly that you have to be tested to know if you have it”
"Imagine a virus so dangerous/deadly that you have to be tested to know if you have it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A photo of Rod Serling in a mock opening of the…
“Imagine a war in which the majority of one side didn’t know they were at war…”
"Imagine a war in which the majority of one side didn’t know they were at war, ridiculed those that did, and were blindly obedient to their enemy" (or "Imagine a war, in which the…
“Imagine an atheist stuck at a green light behind a car with a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ sticker”
"Honk if you love Jesus" is a popular bumper sticker that has been cited in print since at least 1971. A question was posted on the newsgroup alt.religion.christian-teen on March 28,…
“Imagine being drunk as a vegan you gotta come home and eat some celery sticks”
Cured meats are eaten by some people as a hangover cure. This was posted on X/Twitter by Chase on February 12, 2020, and received over 238,000 likes: "imagine being drunk as a vegan you gotta…
“Imagine being on the wrong side of history while it repeats itself. Like failing an open-book test”
It's especially bad to be on the wrong side of history when there are so many historical examples (such as the Spanish Flu of 1918 and the rise of totalitarian government regimes) and history…
“Imagine convincing a species that’s been on earth for thousands of years that it cannot survive or live a healthy life without…”
"Imagine convincing a species that's been on earth for thousands of years that it cannot survive or live a healthy life without pharmaceuticals that didn't even exist 100 years…
“Imagine having your own apartment and nobody ever comes over”
"Imagine having your own apartment and nobody ever comes over" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many young adults want an apartment to be away from their parents, and to…