“If you fuck up a meal, just call it Chicago style and serve it anyway”
There are "Chicago style" pizza and "Chicago style" hot dogs. Many people--such as those from New York City--might not like Chicago style. A joke was posted on Twitter by…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If you get a loan at a bank, you pay it for 30 years. If you rob a bank, you’re out in 10 years”
"If you get a loan at a bank you pay it for 30 years. If you rob a bank, you’re out in 10 years. Follow me for more financial advice" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The…
“If you get any closer I’ll fart” (bumper sticker)
"If you get any closer I'll fart" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "If you get any closer, I'll Fart" was posted on the…
“If you get coffee from a coffee shop and don’t put it on Instagram, did it really happen?”
"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" is a popular philosophical and scientific question. Google Images show variations: . "If you…
“If you get corona virus twice, is it called Dos Equis?”
A coronavirus has nothing to do with Corona beer, but a joke was posted on Twitter by Zach Walsh (and others) on March 4, 2020: "If you get corona virus twice is it called Dos Equis??"…
“If you get heartburn eating birthday cake, try taking the candles off”
Some people get heartburn eating birthday cake. A joke was posted on Twitter by Victoria Todd on July 29, 2010: Bob:"Doctor i get heartburn every time i eat cake"Doctor:"Next time…
“If you get in my car then congratulations, you’ve just won a free ticket to see me live in concert”
Many people sing while driving in a car. "If you get in my car then congratulations, you've just won a free ticket to see me live in concert" is a saying that has been printed on…
“If you get lost in the woods, find a possum and follow it. You’ll be in the middle of the road”
Possums are often found dead in the middle of the road. A joke was posted on Facebook by Dean Young on January 26, 2020: "If you get lost in the woodsFind a possom, follow it.You will be in…
“If you get sick in an airport, it might be terminal illness”
"I keep getting sick when I go to the Airport. I'm worried it might be Terminal" is an airport pun that was posted on Twitter on November 29, 2011. "If you get sick in an…
“If you give a homeless person counterfeit money, they will go to prison and no longer be homeless”
There are two memes about giving a homeless person counterfeit money. "Give a homeless person counterfeit money. They'll go to prison and no longer be homeless" (shown on an image)…
“If you give a weed an inch, it will take a yard”
"Give a weed an inch and it will take a yard" (or "If you give a weed an inch, it will take a yard") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. This is a…
“If you go far enough to the political left or right you end up in the same place”
Entry in progress -- B.P. The QandO BlogThe politics of Sheehan’s protestPosted by: McQ on Monday, August 15, 2005(...)COMMENTSFunny how the two on you are on the same side. I guess the old adage…
“If you Google something and can’t find it, there’s a 90% chance it doesn’t exist”
Many people believe that the search engine Google has the answer to just about everything. "If I google something and can't find it, it doesn't exist. Simple" was posted on…
“If you had fun, you won” (non-competitive sports)
"If you had fun, you won" is a sports saying that has been printed on many images. Participating in sports is often "winning." The saying is popular in scholastic sports…
“If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny…”
"If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for the rest of your life -- would you choose hard or soft tacos?" is a jocular line that has been printed on many…
“If you hang out in a barbershop long enough, you’re going to get a haircut”
"If you hang out in a barbershop long enough, you're going to get a haircut" is a saying used by Alcoholics Anonymous and similar recovery programs. If you hang around alcoholics (or…
“If you hate waking up on Mondays, change your job”
"If you hate Mondays, you should change your job" was cited on Twitter on June 15, 2009. "If Sunday doesnot excite you ... Change your Friends. | if Monday doesn't motivate you…
“If you have a dad, you really should be thanking him for bringing you into this world…”
"If you have a dad you really should be thanking him for bringing you into this world. Your mom probably wasn't even in the mood" is a jocular Father's Day saying that has been…
“If you have a donut in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face or shake hands”
During the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, people tried to avoid accidentally touching their face. "You know, if you keep a pie in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face" was…
“If you have a frownie, eat a brownie”
Eating brownies makes many people happy, and takes away the frowns (or "frownies"). "a brownie a day keeps the frownies away" -- similar to the proverb "an apple a day…