“If your name is on the building, you’re rich”
American comedian Rich Hall said on the television show Late Night with Conan O'Brien on July 17, 1995: "When you go to work in the morning, if your name is on the building -- you're…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If your only goal is to become rich, you will never achieve it”
"If your only goal is to become rich, you will never achieve it" is a said to be a famous quotation by American industrialist John D. Rockefeller (1839-1937). However, the quote seems to…
“If your outgo exceeds your income, then your upkeep will be your downfall”
"When/If your outgo exceeds your income (then) your upkeep is your downfall" is a common sense phrase for a person to live within his or her means. The phrase is cited in print from at…
“If your personal choices have a victim, it is no longer a personal choice”
"If your personal choices have a victim, it is no longer a personal choice" is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. "If your personal choices have a victim, it is no…
“If your phone battery lasts all day, it’s because nobody likes you”
"If your phone battery lasts all day, it's because nobody likes you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, no one is calling you. "If your phone…
“If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, sex, money or booze, you’re kinda fucked”
"If your problem can't be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex, then I'm out of advice" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If your problem can't be…
“If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or foreplay, then I’m out of advice”
"If your problem can't be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex, then I'm out of advice" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If your problem can't be…
“If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex, then I’m out of advice”
"If your problem can't be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex, then I'm out of advice" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If your problem can't be…
“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it”
"When my ship comes in" is an idiom meaning "when my fortune arrives." People who have bad luck (and who doubt that their ship ever will come in) have added an extra ending to…
“If your Sunday doesn’t involve wine and yoga pants, you’re doing it wrong”
"If your Sunday doesn't involve wine and yoga pants, you're doing it wrong" is a Sunday saying that has been printed on many images. "If your Sunday doesn't involve…
“If your Sunday doesn’t involve wine and yoga pants, you’re doing it wrong”
"If your Sunday doesn't involve wine and yoga pants, you're doing it wrong" is a Sunday saying that has been printed on many images. "If your Sunday doesn't involve…
“If your voice held no power, they wouldn’t try to silence you”
"If your voice held no power, they wouldn't try to silence you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If your voice held no power, they wouldn't try to silence…
“If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way”
"If your wife want to learn to drive, don't stand in her way" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Warning: If your wife wants to learn to drive,…
“If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way”
"Don't stand in their way" usually means don't oppose, but a joke takes this literally. "Our friend, E. J. Canada, over in Luther, says that if your wife wants to learn to…
“If youth is wasted on the young, then wealth is wasted on the old”
"Youth is wasted on the young" has been credited to Irish-born playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950). A second line about wealth is sometimes added to this saying. “If you ask me,…
“If zombies attack, go to Costco…” (joke)
"If zombies attack, go to Costco..." (or "If zombies attack, go to Sam's Club...") is a joke that has been printed on many images. Here's why -- "There’s cement…
“If zombies attack, go to Sam’s Club…” (joke)
"If zombies attack, go to Costco..." (or "If zombies attack, go to Sam's Club...") is a joke that has been printed on many images. Here's why -- "There’s cement…
“Ignorance is the single greatest tool of oppression”
"The single greatest tool of oppression is ignorance" (or "Ignorance is the single greatest tool of oppression") is a saying that has been printed on many images. A discussion…
“IKEA is Swedish for divorce”
IKEAis a Swedish multinational group that is the world's largest furniture retailer. "IKEA" is an acronym that consists of the initials of Ingvar Kamprad (the founder), Elmtaryd (the…
“IKEA is testing a new restaurant experience at some of its stores…” (joke)
When a waiter says, “Your table will be ready shortly,” this does not mean that the restaurant is actually constructing a table, but there are jokes. “The waiter said, ‘Your table will be…