“If you’ve seen one bear attack, you’ve seen a maul”
"When you've seen one lion clawing a tourist at the zoo, you've seen a maul" was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on February 11, 1995. "Seen a maul" is a pun on…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If you’ve seen one chamber of commerce, you’ve seen one chamber of commerce”
"If you've seen one chamber (of commerce), you've seen one chamber (of commerce)" is a popular saying among members of chambers of commerce. The saying means that each chamber…
“If you’ve seen one Santa, you’ve seen a mall”
Many shopping malls have Santa Claus displays for Christmas. “‘Santa isn’t real’ ok, I literally saw him at the mall” is a joke. "GOD IT SEEMS if you`ve seen one santa ..you`ve seen…
“If you’ve seen one Santa, you’ve seen the mall”
Many shopping malls have Santa Claus displays for Christmas. “‘Santa isn’t real’ ok, I literally saw him at the mall” is a joke. "GOD IT SEEMS if you`ve seen one santa ..you`ve seen…
“If you’ve survived after hitting rock bottom, hardly anything can scare you”
"When you have hit rock bottom (before) and survived, there are very few things in life that can scare you" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is…
“If you’re cold, they’re cold too, Bring them inside and warm them up”
“If you’re cold, they’re cold. Bring them inside" is a saying about pets that has been printed on many images. Some photos joke on the saying with non-pets, by showing an alligator or a…
“If you’re ever being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead”
"If you’re ever being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead" is jocular advice that has been printed on several images. "If you are being chased by a pack of…
“If you’re injured, you don’t play; if you play, you’re not injured”
"If you’re injured, you don’t play; if you play, you’re not injured" has been credited to Australian tennis coach Harry Hopman (1906-1985). It's not known when he first said…
“If you’re Italian and put ranch dressing on your pizza, you’re legally obligated to remove the vowel from the end of your last name”
Many Italians consider it to be culinary sacrilege when Americans put ranch dressing on pizza. "People who put ranch on pizza and other Italian centric meals are not people you wanna trust…
“If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt”
"If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted…
“If you’re not satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain on the internet”
Does complaining on the internet accomplish anything? "If you're bothered about stuff in your life, get up and do something about it. Or sit down and complain about it on the internet.…
“If you’re on a Boeing flight, it’s not cringe anymore to clap when the plane lands”
Many people clap when their plane lands and it's the end of a safe flight. Experienced travelers often cringe at the clapping. However, in 2023 and 2024, Boeing had several highly publicized…
“If you’re planning to drink tonight, please remember to wander around your house responsibly”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic caused many people to celebrate New Year's Eve at home. The usual cautions of "stay safe" and "drink responsibly" didn't…
“If you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, remember nobody loves you on any other day”
"If you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember nobody loves you on any other day, either" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many ecards. The…
“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room”
"If you're the smartest person in the room, then you're in the wrong room" is a saying that has been printed on many posters. The saying is usually not credited to any author.…
“If you’re trying to cut carbs, use a knife”
Many people try to cut carbohydrates from their diets. These people are not literally trying to cut carbs, but there are jokes. "It's time to cut carbs. I will be henceforth using a knife…
“If you’re ugly but have pretty eyes, this is your chance!” (face mask requirement)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in face mask requirements. "If you're ugly with pretty eyes, this is your moment!" (or "If you're ugly, but have pretty eyes,…
“If you’re ugly but have pretty eyes, this is your time to shine!” (face mask requirement)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in face mask requirements. "If you're ugly with pretty eyes, this is your moment!" (or "If you're ugly, but have pretty eyes,…
“If you’ve gained weight and nobody wants to mention it, you are the elephant in the room”
The saying "the elephant in the room" is a metaphor for a big issue that people ignore (often on purpose). A joke on the saying was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on July 13, 2019:…
“If your boat turns upside down, you can wear it on your head. It’s capsized”
A riddle was posted on Twitter on January 15, 2013: Q: When can you wear a boat on your head? A: When it's capsized. "Did you know that you can fit any boat on your head like a hat, if…