“If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?”
"If we're not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?" is a jocular saying that has been cited in print since at least 1999. "If we…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If we start calling it ‘potato juice’, vodka becomes a health drink, RIGHT??”
"If we start calling it 'potato juice', vodka becomes a health drink, RIGHT??" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "@donjuantip: If we start calling…
“If we were really wrong about them, they wouldn’t need to censor us”
Many people and groups have been censored by the media, especially the social media such as Facebook and Twitter. "If we were really wrong about them, they wouldn’t need to censor us"…
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
"If we're not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?" (or, "If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the…
“If we’re not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?”
"If we're not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?" (or, "If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the…
“If we’re going to have one way grocery aisles, I’m going to need a passing lane”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in changes to many grocery stores, such as one-way aisles. "Okay, if we're going to have one-way grocery aisles then I'm going to need a…
“If white people have no culture, then explain beach themed bathrooms”
It's very common for a bathroom to be decorated with a beach theme, but that is not required by law. "What is it with white people & beach themed bathrooms?" was posted on…
“If winning isn’t important, why keep score?”
"It doesn't matter if you win or lose, but how you played the game" is a paraphrase of the poem "Alumnus Football" (1908) by the sportswriter Grantland Rice (1880-1954).…
“If women ruled the world, there would be no wars…”
"If women ruled the world, there would be no wars" is an old saying that may or may not be true. "If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries…
“If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?”
"If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on GIFs. Leonard Lyons (1906-1976) wrote in his syndicated "The Lyons…
“If work isn’t fun, you’re not playing on the right team”
"If work isn’t fun, you’re not playing on the right team" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American author Frank Sonnenberg wrote the saying in his book (co-authored…
“If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves”
Haitian writer Jacques Roumain (1907-1944) wrote in Gouverneurs de la Rosée (1944), translated as Masters of the Dew (1947): "If work was such a good thing, the rich would have grabbed it all…
“If worms carried pistols, birds wouldn’t eat ‘em”
"If worms carried pistols, birds wouldn’t eat ‘em" ("If worms had machine guns, birds wouldn't eat them") is a saying of unknown origin. "If worms had machine…
“If you abbreviate in sign language, is it called short hand?”
"Are abbreviations in sign language called 'shorthand'?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by J. W. Sullivan on September 17, 2011. "If you abbreviate in sign language,…
“If you ain’t from Texas, you’re a Yankee”
"If you ain't from Texas, you're a Yankee" was printed in the Knoxville (TN) News-Sentinel on November 22, 1981. "If you're not from Texas, you're a Yankee"…
“If you ain’t makin’ waves, you ain’t kickin’ hard enough”
"If you aren't making waves, you aren't kicking hard enough" ("If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough") is a motivational saying…
“If you allow liars and thieves to make decisions for you, don’t be surprised when they make bad decisions for you”
"If you allow liars and thieves to make decisions for you, then you shouldn't be surprised when they make bad decisions for you" (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by Being…
“If you allow liars and thieves to make decisions for you, then you shouldn’t be surprised when they make bad decisions for you”
"If you allow liars and thieves to make decisions for you, then you shouldn't be surprised when they make bad decisions for you" (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by Being…
“If you are a gardener, you can always put ‘Plant Manager’ on your resume”
"If you are a gardener, you can always put/write 'Plant Manager' on your resume" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If you're a gardener, you…
“If you are a gardener, you can always write ‘Plant Manager’ on your resume”
"If you are a gardener, you can always put/write 'Plant Manager' on your resume" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If you're a gardener, you…