“If I spend 100 minutes with Geico, will I get free car insurance?”
A famous tagline for GEICO insurance ads is: "15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance." If you spend more than 15 minutes, could you save more money? "If I spend 100…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If I stirred it, it’s homemade”
"If I had/have to stir it, it's homemade" (or "If I stirred it, it's homemade") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, it's home…
“If I stop my car so can walk across the street, I’d better see some hustle out of you. Knees to chest!”
"If I stop my car so can walk across the street, I'd better see some hustle out of you. Knees to chest!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If I stop my…
“If I talk to you while I’m driving, I genuinely like you. Because that’s supposed to be my music time”
Many people usually listen to music while driving. "If I talk to you while I'm driving, I genuinely like you. Because that's supposed to be my music time" is a saying that has…
“If I tell you a hen dips snuff, you can look under its wing”
"If I tell you a hen dips snuff, you can look under its wing (and you'll find a whole can)" is an expression that means the speaker is telling the truth, and it can be checked out.…
“If I tell you I am thinking about you, don’t get too excited because I am also thinking about rotisserie chicken”
People think romantic thoughts, but there are many thoughts about food, too. “@nayele18: If I tell you I'm thinking about you, don't get too excited, because I'm also thinking…
“If I tell you I am thinking about you, don’t get too excited because I’m also thinking about tacos”
People think romantic thoughts, but there are many thoughts about food, too. “@nayele18: If I tell you I'm thinking about you, don't get too excited, because I'm also thinking…
“If I tell you I am thinking about you, don’t get too excited, because I’m also thinking about nachos”
People think romantic thoughts, but there are many thoughts about food, too. “@nayele18: If I tell you I'm thinking about you, don't get too excited, because I'm also thinking…
“If I want to hang out with you after my 8+ hour shifts, just know you’re special to me”
"If I want to hang out with you after my 8+ hour shifts, just know you’re special to me" is a saying that has been printed on many images. After a long day of work, most people just…
“If I want to see clowns at the Garden, I’ll just go to a Knicks game”
New York City's Madison Square Garden has hosted many different events, such as basketball's New York Knicks and the Ringling Brothers Circus. American television talk show host David…
“If I wanted advice from someone who chases a ball, I’d ask my dog”
"To these athletes thinking we are listening to them: If I wanted advice from someone who chases a ball, I'd ask my dog" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "To…
“If I wanted the government in my womb, I’d fuck a Senator”
"If I wanted the government in my womb, I'd fuck a Senator" is a women's rights saying that has been printed on many images. "If I wanted the government in my womb,…
“If I wanted to bag my own groceries, I would have pursued a career in the Grocery Arts”
Many grocery shoppers do not like to bag their own groceries. "If I wanted to bag my own groceries I would have went to college to be a bag boy. Smh" was posted on Twitter by Young Basil…
“If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn’t be called nachos”
"Nachos" sounds like "not yours." "If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn’t be called nachos" is a jocular one-line saying about nachos that has been printed…
“If I were a judge, I’d change my surname to Mental”
Is there a judgmental judge named Judge Mental? "Or I'll change my last name to 'Mental' so when I get my own show they'll say; 'all rise for Judge Mental'"…
“If I were a trumpet player I would constantly borrow other people’s trumpets…” (joke)
"Toot one's own horn" (to promote one's self) is an idiomatic expression. It has little to do with actually playing horns, but there are jokes. "I don't like to toot…
“If I won the lottery, I would stay at my job and act like an asshole until they fired me”
"If I won the lottery, I would stay at my job and act like an asshole until they fired me" is a work saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight variations.…
“If I won the lottery, I wouldn’t quit my job. I’d just act like an asshole until they fired me”
"If I won the lottery, I would stay at my job and act like an asshole until they fired me" is a work saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight variations.…
“If I won the lottery, I’d still keep my job so that I could act like a complete asshole until I’m fired”
"If I won the lottery, I would stay at my job and act like an asshole until they fired me" is a work saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight variations.…
“If I won the lottery, I’d still keep my job so that I could be insufferably obnoxious until I’m fired”
"If I won the lottery, I would stay at my job and act like an asshole until they fired me" is a work saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight variations.…