New York Yankees manager Casey Stengel (1890-1975) was known for his colorful quotations given to the baseball press. After the Yankees clinched the 1958 American League pennant, Stengel remarked:…
American comedican Henny Youngman (1906-1998) frequently told of a doctor who gave a man only six months to live. The man couldn't pay his medical bills, so the doctor gave him another six…
A university does not have people from all over the universe, but there are jokes. "I couldn't wait to leave school and go to university. But when I got there, it was just people from…
An employment joke was printed in the Wilmington (DE) Morning News on December 26, 1933: "If the boss doesn't take back what he said to me, I shall leave.""What did he…
Hotel "reception" doesn't mean phone reception, but there is a joke. "Couldn’t get my phone to work in my hotel room, so went downstairs. They have reception there" was…
"In the 1980s I fell off my bike and hurt my knee. I'm telling you this now because we didn't have social media back then" ia an internet saying that has been printed on many…
"I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet" means that, while one can despair about one's wealth or situation, there is always someone poorer or less…
Many people cry when they chop up onions, and this is the subject of a popular dark joke. "When I cut up onions, it always makes me cry. He was a good dog and will be missed" was posted…
"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a light bulb. Then I realized that my life was a joke" is a joke that combine three popular memes. "Has changed a lightbulb,…
"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a light bulb. Then I realized that my life was a joke" is a joke that combine three popular memes. "Has changed a lightbulb,…
People often cry when they cut up onions, but not when they cut up carrots or other vegetables. "I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don't think they're ugly or…
"With great power comes great responsibility" is a popular line from Spider-Man in Marvel Comics. "With grate power comes grate responsibility" is a cheese grater pun.…
"I Dance Country at the Broken Spoke, Austin, Texas" is a popular slogan of The Broken Spoke, billed as "the best honky-tonk in Texas" and "Texas' most definitive…
The song “Come from the Heart” (1987) by Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh contains the lyrics: “Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s…
The song "Come from the Heart" (1987) by Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh contains the lyrics: "Sing like no one is listening.Love like you’ve never been hurt.Dance like nobody’s…
Molly Ivins (1944-2007) often poked fun at Texas ways, but she dearly loved the state. "I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it…
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. One version is: "I decided to cross the road, not because…
"Good morning, Warren, and congratulations on once again not dying in your sleep…" is a jocular version of "good morning" that was posted on Twitter by Munsi on January 3,…
One disadvantage of speeding -- besides potentially getting a speeding ticket -- is that the driver might arrive at a destination too early. "I definitely learned my lesson about speeding…
"I've deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo" is a saying meaning that the speaker changes thoughts so often, something permanent (a tattoo on the…