“I didn’t realize I was supposed to know how to do everything by my second rodeo”
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. It is an expression that means "I wasn't born yesterday" (I'm not naive in…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I didn’t realize that my parents teaching me to tell the truth when I was a child…”
Entry in progress -- BP FacebookColleen WatersOctober 15, 2021 at 4:57 AM · Friday , been a good girl all week not been fb banned (yet) but most likely still on the watch list 👀😇(The…
“I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.”
"I didn't say it was your fault -- I said I was going to blame you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters and T-shirts. The saying is what a…
“I didn’t think my son stole from his trig teacher until I saw his room. All the sines were there”
"I never wanted to believe that my dad stole from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there” is a now-classic pun. There are math versions ("all the sines…
“I didn’t think there was a class system in the U.S.” (joke)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksThe NationVolume 2361983Pg. 388:An Oxford professor meets a former Ph.D. student and courteously inquires what he's working on these days. “l'm…
“I didn’t think wearing orthopaedic shoes would help my posture, but now I stand corrected”
"I didn't think wearing orthopaedic shoes would help my posture," an old joke goes, "but now I stand corrected." The joke has been told several times by television…
“I didn’t understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me”
A math joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on March 18, 2012: "I didn't understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me." Pun of the Day (March 19, 2012)I…
“I didn’t get the job hypnotising chickens. I failed the hen trance exam”
Many jobs have entrance exams. This joke was posted by many people on X/Twitter and Facebook on January 30, 2022: "I didn’t get the job hypnotising chickens. I failed the hen trance…
“I didn’t go to school just to eat my lunch”
Schools usually have a lunch break; some students qualify for free school lunches. "I didn't go to school (just) to eat lunch" is a popular saying, meaning that the speaker went to…
“I didn’t know how much cookies shaped like integers cost, but I crunched the numbers”
The saying "crunch the numbers" takes on a different meaning when cookies are shaped like numbers. "My favorite activity is making number shaped cookies and crackers because i really…
“I didn’t like working at the steel plant. It smelt”
"Smelling" and "smelting" shouldn't be confused, but there are jokes. This pun was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on January 26, 2024: "I didn’t like working at the…
“I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far”
A 301(k) retirement savings contribution plan shouldn't be confused with a 10K (kilometers) run, but there's a joke: "I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's…
“I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far”
A 301(k) retirement savings contribution plan shouldn't be confused with a 10K (kilometers) run, but there's a joke: "I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's…
“I disagree with you, but I’m pretty sure you’re not Hitler”
Jon Stewart announced his October 30, 2010 "The Rally to Restore Sanity" on Comedy Central's The Daily Show on September 16, 2010. Stewart suggested one sign: "I disagree with…
“I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink”
New York City-born comedian Joe E. Lewis (1902-1971) was quoted in 1965 for the line, "I distrust camels or anybody else who don't take a drink once in a while." The camel drinking…
“I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally”
"I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally" (or "I do all my own stunts, but/just not intentionally") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "RT…
“I do all my own stunts, but not intentionally”
"I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally" (or "I do all my own stunts, but/just not intentionally") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "RT…
“I do all my own stunts, just not intentionally”
"I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally" (or "I do all my own stunts, but/just not intentionally") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "RT…
“I do dumb shit like turn down food when I’m mad”
"I do dumb shit like turn down food when I'm mad" is a food saying that has been printed on several images. "i do dumb shit like turn down food when i’m mad 😭" was…
“I do enjoy playing ‘telekinetic snooker.’ However, you’ve got to be in the right frame of mind for it”
The game of snooker has frames, and there are "right frame of mind" jokes. "I love playing 'telekinetic snooker'. But you've got to be in the right frame of mind for…