“If worms carried pistols, birds wouldn’t eat ‘em”
"If worms carried pistols, birds wouldn’t eat ‘em" ("If worms had machine guns, birds wouldn't eat them") is a saying of unknown origin. "If worms had machine…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If you abbreviate in sign language, is it called short hand?”
"Are abbreviations in sign language called 'shorthand'?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by J. W. Sullivan on September 17, 2011. "If you abbreviate in sign language,…
“If you ain’t from Texas, you’re a Yankee”
"If you ain't from Texas, you're a Yankee" was printed in the Knoxville (TN) News-Sentinel on November 22, 1981. "If you're not from Texas, you're a Yankee"…
“If you ain’t makin’ waves, you ain’t kickin’ hard enough”
"If you aren't making waves, you aren't kicking hard enough" ("If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough") is a motivational saying…
“If you are a gardener, you can always put ‘Plant Manager’ on your resume”
"If you are a gardener, you can always put/write 'Plant Manager' on your resume" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If you're a gardener, you…
“If you are a gardener, you can always write ‘Plant Manager’ on your resume”
"If you are a gardener, you can always put/write 'Plant Manager' on your resume" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If you're a gardener, you…
“If you are a supervisor at a soup kitchen, does that make you a soupervisor?”
"Soupervisor" (soup + supervisor) is a portmanteau that has been used since at least the 1960s. The poem 'THE SOUPervisor" was printed in the Fort Lauderdale (FL) News on July…
“If you are afraid to speak out against tyranny, you are already a slave”
"If you are afraid to speak out against tyranny, you are already a slave" is a sayin that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "If you are afraid to speak out…
“If you are color blind, Twister is a mother fucking free for all”
Twister is a game that involves colored circles, where people place hands and feet. "If you are color blind, Twister is a mother fucking free for all" was posted on Twitter by Ben…
“If you are going to tell a lie, tell a big one” (the big lie)
The expression "the big lie" was popularized by Adolf Hitler's book Mein Kampf (1925), published in an abridged English edition in the fall of 1933 and in a more complete English…
“If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country”
"If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country" is a joke featured in many sports and exercise joke lists, often incorrectly attributed to comedian Steven…
“If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance”
"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that if you're on thin ice (in a…
“If you are heathy, they lose money”
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterMatias Page Heavy large circle HORMETIK@Hormetik"If you are healthy they lose money"We've been saying this since forever. But it's amazing to see…
“If you are more fortunate than others, it’s better to build a longer table than a taller fence”
"If you are more fortunate than others, it’s better to build a longer table than a taller fence" is a saying that has been printed on posters. The saying was cited on Twitter on June 3,…
“If you are not coffee, chocolate, or bacon, I’m going to need you to go away”
"If you are not coffee, chocolate, or bacon, I'm going to need you to go away" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "If you are not Chocolate,…
“If you are not willing to challenge your own beliefs, then you are your own most effective prison”
"If you are not willing to challenge your own beliefs, then you are your own most effective prison warden" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "'If your are not…
“If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you…”
"If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many posters. The saying was…
“If you are still confused about gender, try milking a bull. That might kick start your thinking”
"If you are still confused about gender, try milking a bull. That might kick start your thinking" and "If you're still confused about gender, try milking a bull and you'll…
“If you are what you eat, do bodybuilders eat mussels?”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“If you are what you eat, do bodybuilders eat mussels?”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…