“If we get rid of all the margarine, the world would be a butter place”
"If we get rid of all the margarine, the world would be a butter place" is a jocular saying, with a pun on "the world would be a better place." Authorship is unknown. "Now…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If we getting drunk tonight lmk now so I can eat a lunchable”
"If we getting drunk tonight lmk now so I can eat a lunchable" (or "If we getting drunk tonight let me know now so I can eat a lunchable") was posted on Facebook by Michael…
“If we go out & you pick a table over a booth, I’m going home”
A restaurant often gives a dine the choice of having a table o a booth. A large group of people might choose the table, and a couple dating might choose the booth. "Is there anyone that…
“If we go out to eat and you choose a table over a booth, I’m going home”
A restaurant often gives a dine the choice of having a table o a booth. A large group of people might choose the table, and a couple dating might choose the booth. "Is there anyone that…
“If we go to prison for downloading music, I hope they separate us by genre”
"If we go to prison for downloading music, I hope they separate us by genre" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If someday we all go to prison for downloading…
“If we got rid of all the margarine and spreads, the world would be a butter place”
"If we get rid of all the margarine, the world would be a butter place" is a jocular saying, with a pun on "the world would be a better place." Authorship is unknown. "Now…
“If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs—if we had some eggs”
"If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs -- if we had some eggs" (or "If I had some bread, I could make a ham sandwich -- if I had some ham") is a jocular saying from a…
“If we lie to Congress, it’s a felony and if Congress lies to us it’s just politics”
"If we lie to the Congress, it's a felony and if the Congress lies to us it's just politics" was written by Ken Huber of Tawas City, Michigan, and published in the Iosco County…
“If we make guns illegal, then nobody will get shot anymore. That’s how we stopped drugs”
"If we make guns illegal, then nobody will get shot anymore. That's how we stopped everybody from doing drugs" is a sarcastic pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images.…
“If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?”
"If we're not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?" is a jocular saying that has been cited in print since at least 1999. "If we…
“If we start calling it ‘potato juice’, vodka becomes a health drink, RIGHT??”
"If we start calling it 'potato juice', vodka becomes a health drink, RIGHT??" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "@donjuantip: If we start calling…
“If we were really wrong about them, they wouldn’t need to censor us”
Many people and groups have been censored by the media, especially the social media such as Facebook and Twitter. "If we were really wrong about them, they wouldn’t need to censor us"…
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
"If we're not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?" (or, "If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the…
“If we’re not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?”
"If we're not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?" (or, "If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the…
“If we’re going to have one way grocery aisles, I’m going to need a passing lane”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in changes to many grocery stores, such as one-way aisles. "Okay, if we're going to have one-way grocery aisles then I'm going to need a…
“If winning isn’t important, why keep score?”
"It doesn't matter if you win or lose, but how you played the game" is a paraphrase of the poem "Alumnus Football" (1908) by the sportswriter Grantland Rice (1880-1954).…
“If women ruled the world, there would be no wars…”
"If women ruled the world, there would be no wars" is an old saying that may or may not be true. "If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries…
“If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?”
"If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on GIFs. Leonard Lyons (1906-1976) wrote in his syndicated "The Lyons…
“If work isn’t fun, you’re not playing on the right team”
"If work isn’t fun, you’re not playing on the right team" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American author Frank Sonnenberg wrote the saying in his book (co-authored…
“If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves”
Haitian writer Jacques Roumain (1907-1944) wrote in Gouverneurs de la Rosée (1944), translated as Masters of the Dew (1947): "If work was such a good thing, the rich would have grabbed it all…