“I’ve just fallen through the roof of a French bakery. I’m in a world of pain”
"Pain" is the French word for "bread." "If i was to open a french bakery, i'd call it 'world of pain'" was posted on Twitter by Jamie Scott on October…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I’ve just found out that my Indian name is Chugalottajava”
"I've just found out that my Indian name is Chugalottajava" (or "I just found out my Indian name is...chugalottajava") is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on…
“I’ve just got a voucher for some gingerbread cake traditionally made with oatmeal and black treacle. It’s a Parkin ticket”
"Parkin" (a gingerbread cake traditionally made with oatmeal and black treacle) has nothing to do with "parking," but there are jokes. "The traffic warden slapped a treacle…
“I’ve just lost my job as an ice cream tester. I couldn’t do sundaes”
"Sundae" sounds like "Sunday," and there are several jokes. "Just been sacked as an ice cream tester. I refused to do Sundaes" was posted on Twitter by 𝕸𝖆𝖙…
“I’ve just opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms. Hardly the chaos”
To "open a can of worms" is to release chaos, like opening Pandora's box. If one opens a can of worms (for fishing), it is very difficult to close the can. "Commissioner Ed…
“I’ve just opened a shop selling telescopes. Business is looking up”
"'My business is looking up,' as the man with the 'Penny a peep' telescope told the policeman" was printed under "SAM WELLERISMS“ in Judy: The London…
“I’ve just released my own fragrance. But no one in this elevator seems to like it”
"I’ve just released my own fragrance, Nobody in the bus/car/elevator/train seemed to like it" i a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker just let out…
“I’ve just released my own fragrance. But no one on this bus seems to like it”
"I’ve just released my own fragrance, Nobody in the bus/car/elevator/train seemed to like it" i a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker just let out…
“I’ve just released my own fragrance. But no one on this train seems to like it”
"I’ve just released my own fragrance, Nobody in the bus/car/elevator/train seemed to like it" i a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker just let out…
“I’ve just seen a very confusing book—‘Ventriloquism for Dummies’”
The book DOS For Dummies (1991) started a For Dummies series of instructional books. The title "Ventriloquism for Dummies" was suggested on the newsgroup alt.tasteless.jokes on June 2,…
“I’ve just started work as a human chess piece. The money’s good. I’m on knights this week”
People on a human chess board work as kings, queens, bishops, knights, rooks and pawns. A joke was posted on Twitter on September 8, 2014: "I've just started work as a human chess…
“I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax”
"I've just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The news often gets people angry or…
“I’ve just used a proper butter knife for the first time. It melted in my hand”
A butter knife is not made of butter, but there are jokes. "I've just used a proper butter knife for the first time. It melted in my hand" was posted on Sickipedia on May 19, 2024.…
“I’ve just watched a film that was set around a tea plantation in India. It was rated PG”
PG Tips (a brand of tea in the United Kingdom) has nothing to do with the PG (parental guidance) movie rating, but there are jokes. "RT @sickipediabot: I've just watched a film that was…
“I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking of making a few more”
"I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Great quote 'I’ve learned so…
“I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake”
"As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake" (or "Making everyone happy is impossible. Pissing them…
“I’ve lost loads of weight, just by wearing bread around my head. It’s a loaf hat diet”
Instead of a "low fat diet," what about a "loaf hat diet"? "I'm on a loaf hat diet" was posted on the newsgroup alt.english.usage on October 23, 1999. "For…
“I’ve never been able to count to ten in French because of my huit allergy”
"Huit" is French for the number eight. "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.. achoo! Sorry, I have a huit allergy" was posted on Twitter by Joelle McNichol on February 10,…
“I’ve never been camping, but once my phone died and I looked up and saw a tree”
Many people are too busy looking on their phones to do anything else. "I've never been camping, but once my phone died and I looked up and saw a tree" is a jocular saying that has…
“I’ve never been in love, but I imagine it’s like when the waiter brings your food”
"I've never been in love, but I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food" is a jocular saying that's popular on Twitter.…