“I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor; rich is better”
"I've been rich and I've been poor. Rich is better." This insightful bit of personal financial wisdom has been credited to entertainer Sophie Tucker, comedian Joe E. Lewis,…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I’ve been social distancing for years…mostly because of restraining orders”
The 2020 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many social distancing requirements. Social distancing was compared to a restraining order. "I do my social distancing the old-fashioned way, usually…
“I’ve been standing under citrus trees all day. I feel sublime!”
"Sublime" doesn't describe a lime, but there are jokes. "What it was, under the citrus tree -- 'SUB-LIME'" was the "Jumble puzzle syndicated in many…
“I’ve been staying in a four-star hotel. It was ****”
"I've been staying in a four-star hotel. It was ****" was posted on Sickipedia on August 5, 2023. The joke is that a four-star hotel is a very good hotel, but "****"…
“I’ve been studying the metric system lately. It’s in tenths”
"In tenths" can sound like "intense." "unless you go with a group of 10 then its in tenths" was posted on Twitter by RandaddyPurpsGrapes on March 18, 2013. "My…
“I’ve been thrown out of better places than this!”
"I've been thrown out of better places/joints/bars/restaurants/hotels than this!" is a humorous saying by someone getting removed from a location. Ferenc Molnár's popular…
“I’ve been trying to leave Rome for weeks, but all their roads have this weird design flaw”
"All roads lead to Rome" is an idiom that means that all paths have the same goal. In some jokes, however, the phrase is taken literally. "I've been trying to leave Rome for…
“I’ve been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat”
"I've been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat" (or "I've been waiting all winter to start complaining about the summer heat") is a spring saying that…
“I’ve been waiting all winter to start complaining about the summer heat”
"I've been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat" (or "I've been waiting all winter to start complaining about the summer heat") is a spring saying that…
“I’ve been watching my weight. It’s still there”
"I've been watching my weight. It's still there" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The expression "watch your weight" usually means to watch…
“I’ve been watching the Origami Channel. It’s paper view”
"Pay Per View" sounds like "paper view." An obvious joke is: "I've been watching the Origami Channel. It's paper view." The "paper view" origami…
“I’ve benedicted to Eggs Benedict”
"Benedicted" sounds like "been addicted," and there have been several "Eggs Benedict" puns. "When I lay an egg around here, it's just ignored! That's…
“I’ve come to accept that my parents were Santa. Though I still don’t understand how they made it to all the houses in one night”
Some people come to realize that Santa Claus does not exist, while others come to realize that their parents were Santa Claus (that is, the concept of Santa Claus exists through one's…
“I’ve come to the conclusion buying art supplies and actually using them are two separate hobbies”
"I have come to the conclusion that buying craft supplies and actually using them are two separate hobbies" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Just saw a pin:…
“I’ve come to the conclusion buying craft supplies and actually using them are two separate hobbies”
"I have come to the conclusion that buying craft supplies and actually using them are two separate hobbies" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Just saw a pin:…
“I’ve come to the conclusion that the sole purpose of homework is to condition children into accepting that unpaid overtime…”
What is the purpose of homework? This was posted on X/Twitter by Erin Ekins on July 19, 2020, and it received over 153,000 likes: "I've come to the conclusion that the sole purpose of…
“I’ve come to the conclusion, the bigger the Cheerio, the better it tastes” (donut saying)
"The bigger the cheerio, the better it tastes" -- a meme usually shown with a bowl of Cheerios and a donut on top -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The bigger the…
“I’ve created a website selling and delivering sausages over the Internet. I’ll send you the link”
Internet links and sausage links aren't the same links, but there are jokes. "I get them online. I'll send you a link."/"Oh, well, at home, I smoke sausages. I'll send…
“I’ve cut down on my drinking and now I only have one drink before going to bed…”
"I’ve cut down on my drinking, and now only have one vodka before going to bed. Last night I went to bed eight times" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I’ve decided to invest all my money in soup stocks. I want to be a bouillonaire”
If you invest in beef stock and chicken stock and vegetable stock, could you become a "bouillonaire" (bouillon + billionaire)? "I bought apple stocks early.......also beef stocks,…