“I was going to start a taxi service for seniors and call it Oldsmobile”
Oldsmobile was a brand of American automobiles from 1897 to 2004. The company was named after Ransom E. Olds (1864-1950). The "Oldsmobile" name doesn't mean that it's an…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I was going to tell a finance joke, but then again, it would bear no interest to you”
A finance joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on September 29, 2017: "I was going to tell a finance joke, but then again, it would bear no interest to you." Reddit -- OnelinersI was…
“I was going to turn all my guns over to the government, but I did a background check…”
"Well, I was going to turn all my guns over to the government; but I did a background check and none of them were mentally stable" was posted on Twitter by Doug Sehorne on September 15,…
“I was gonna start dieting, but Halloween is coming up, then Thanksgiving and Christmas candy…”
Holidays can interfere with dieting. "I was gonna start dieting, but Halloween is coming up, then Thanksgiving and Christmas candy. Before you know it, it's BBQ season again and I'm…
“I was gonna tell a joke about a broken clock, but it’s not the right time”
"I have a joke about a broken clock but it’s not the right time" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Matt Walsh on July 25, 2020. "I was gonna tell a a joke about a broken…
“I was gutted today when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn’t actually mine…”
Fathers can be pretty bad at picking up a child at school, and there's a joke about this. "When I came home I was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn't mine. She was right I…
“I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I feel I’m aging more like an avocado”
"I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. An avocado ages very fast. "I WAS HOPING TO…
“I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado”
"I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. An avocado ages very fast. "I WAS HOPING TO…
“I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I’m feeling more like an avocado”
"I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. An avocado ages very fast. "I WAS HOPING TO…
“I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but it seems more like a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20”
"I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but it seems more like a bottle of MD 20/20" is a joke that has been printed on many images. MD 20/20 (often called Mad Dog 20/20) is usually not…
“I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but it seems more like a bottle of MD 20/20”
"I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but it seems more like a bottle of MD 20/20" is a joke that has been printed on many images. MD 20/20 (often called Mad Dog 20/20) is usually not…
“I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn’t mine. Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pickup”
Fathers can be pretty bad at picking up a child at school, and there's a joke about this. "When I came home I was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn't mine. She was right I…
“I was in a restaurant last night and the waiter asked me to cover his shift” (joke)
The term "wait a minute" doesn't literally mean that, but there's a joke: "I was in a restaurant last night and the waiter asked me to cover his shift for 60 seconds. I…
“I was in love with Harlem long before I got there”
American poet Langston Hughes (1902-1967) was born in Missouri, but arrived in New York City in the 1920s to attend Columbia College. In his autobiography, The Big Sea (1940), Hughes wrote: "I…
“I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won…” (joke)
The New York Yankees don't have anything to do with the Yankees of the Civil War, but there's a joke: "I was in NYC and this black guy asked me if the Yankees won, I said, 'Yeah…
“I was in the restaurant and the waiter asked me what I wanted to drink? I said a glass of water please. He said still?”
A restaurant joke has a diner order water, and the waiter asks, "Still?" The waiter wants to know if it's "still" or "sparkling" water, but the diner hears this…
“I was kicked out of math class for one too many infractions”
"Infractions" shouldn't be confused with "in fractions," but there are jokes. "I was kicked out of math class for one too many infractions. Pun of the Day…
“I was led to believe adulthood would involve more cocktail sipping and less everything sucking”
"I was led to believe adulthood would involve more cocktail sipping and less everything sucking" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Facebook on May…
“I was making soup last night and the recipe called for 5 potatoes cubed. 125 potatoes seems a bit excessive, doesn’t it?”
"Five potatoes cubed" means to slice the five potatoes into cubes. It does not mean 5 x 5 x 5 = 125 potatoes, but there are jokes. "Making soup and it calls for 'eight potatoes…
“I was massively overcharged for a jelly this morning. It was daylight wobbly”
Jelly (such as Jell-O) wobbles. A joke was posted on Twitter by Pablo Egglescobar on June 11, 2011: "I was overcharged for a jelly this morning. It was daylight wobbly." The joke is that…