“I’m drinking 2% milk, wondering what the other 98% is”
"2% milk" refers to the fat content of the milk, but there's a popular joke: "If it's 2% milk, what's the other 98%?" "I always wondered if it was 2% milk,…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I’m drinking vodka and prune juice. I call it a pile driver”
A "Screwdriver" is a cocktail of vodka and orange juice. A "Piledriver" (or "Pile Driver") is sometimes said to be a cocktail of vodka and prune juice (a laxative that…
“I’m eating just in case I get hungry in the future”
"I'm eating just in case I get hungry in the future" is a jocular saying that has become popular on Twitter. The saying first appeared on Twitter with several tweets on November 14,…
“I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a shit in days”
"I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days" is a jocular line that has been printed on several ecards. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 9, 2012 and…
“I’m excited that the phrase ‘get the fuck away from me’ is no longer rude but a PSA”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in social distancing. "I'm excited that the phrase 'get the fuck away from me' is no longer rude but a public service announcement.…
“I’m fat because I’m full of experiences. And most of those experiences took place at restaurants”
"I'm fat because I'm full of experiences. And most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying…
“I’m fat, but I identify as skinny. I’m trans-slender”
"Trans-slender" or "translender" is a pun on "transgender." "Um no I'm not fat I'm very translender" was posted on Twitter by Van on May 9, 2015.…
“I’m fat, but I identify as skinny. I’m translender”
"Trans-slender" or "translender" is a pun on "transgender." "Um no I'm not fat I'm very translender" was posted on Twitter by Van on May 9, 2015.…
“I’m fat, but I identify as slim. I’m trans-slender”
"Trans-slender" or "translender" is a pun on "transgender." "Um no I'm not fat I'm very translender" was posted on Twitter by Van on May 9, 2015.…
“I’m fat, but I identify as slim. I’m translender”
"Trans-slender" or "translender" is a pun on "transgender." "Um no I'm not fat I'm very translender" was posted on Twitter by Van on May 9, 2015.…
“I’m filthy, stinking rich. Well, two out of three ain’t bad”
"I'm filthy, stinking rich. Well, two out of three ain't bad" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is surely filthy and stinking, but not rich.…
“I’m from a town where a traffic jam is 6 cars behind a tractor”
"I come from a town where a traffic jam is 4 (or 3, or 5, or 6 -- ed.) cars behind a tractor" is a jocular saying about a small town that has been printed on many images. "I come…
“I’m from Missouri, and you’ve got to show me” & Show Me State (Missouri nickname)
Gerald Cohen is a professor at the Missouri University of Science and Technology (Rolla, MO). He started the research on "Big Apple," and he also started the research on "I'm…
“I’m from New York. We don’t keep calm”
"I'm from New York. We don't keep calm" and "I can't keep calm. I'm from New York" are New York City versions of the British World War II "Keep Calm and…
“I’m from Texas. What country are you from?”
"I'm from Texas. What country are you from?" has appeared on bumper stickers since the 1990s. Texas used to be a country; some people believe it still is. StickerZombie.comI'M…
“I’m from the government and I’m here to help you”
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help you" (or "We're from the government and we're here to help you") is a line from the mid-1970s, usually grouped…
“I’m getting pancakes with a side of pancakes”
"I’m getting pancakes with a side of pancakes" was said by the character Lorelai Gilmore (played by Lauren Graham) on the American comedy-drama television series Gilmore Girls, The line…
“I’m getting real sick and tired of food having calories”
"I'm getting real sick and tired of food having calories" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm really sick and tired of food having calories"…
“I’m giving up alcohol for a month” (joke)
"I'm giving up alcohol for a month" is a joke that has been printed on man yGIFs. "Sebas" wrote on Twitter on January 5, 2016: "I'm giving up alcohol for a month.…
“I’m giving up Cadbury’s chocolates for Lindt”
Many Christians give up chocolate for Lent. "Lent" shouldn't be confused with "Lindt" (a Swiss chocolatier and confectionery company), but there are jokes. "hahaha RT…