“I was in love with Harlem long before I got there”
American poet Langston Hughes (1902-1967) was born in Missouri, but arrived in New York City in the 1920s to attend Columbia College. In his autobiography, The Big Sea (1940), Hughes wrote: "I…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won…” (joke)
The New York Yankees don't have anything to do with the Yankees of the Civil War, but there's a joke: "I was in NYC and this black guy asked me if the Yankees won, I said, 'Yeah…
“I was in the restaurant and the waiter asked me what I wanted to drink? I said a glass of water please. He said still?”
A restaurant joke has a diner order water, and the waiter asks, "Still?" The waiter wants to know if it's "still" or "sparkling" water, but the diner hears this…
“I was kicked out of math class for one too many infractions”
"Infractions" shouldn't be confused with "in fractions," but there are jokes. "I was kicked out of math class for one too many infractions. Pun of the Day…
“I was led to believe adulthood would involve more cocktail sipping and less everything sucking”
"I was led to believe adulthood would involve more cocktail sipping and less everything sucking" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Facebook on May…
“I was massively overcharged for a jelly this morning. It was daylight wobbly”
Jelly (such as Jell-O) wobbles. A joke was posted on Twitter by Pablo Egglescobar on June 11, 2011: "I was overcharged for a jelly this morning. It was daylight wobbly." The joke is that…
“I was meant to be rich, I just know it. I can tell by the way I spend money”
"I was meant to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was born to be rich, I can tell by the way i spend"…
“I was meant to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money”
"I was meant to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was born to be rich, I can tell by the way i spend"…
“I was named after my dad. Because I couldn’t possibly have been named before him”
"Me? I was named after my father, who was named after his father. I should say, 'named for,' for how many of us were named before our fathers?" is an obvious saying that was…
“I was never a photogenic person, mainly because when everyone said cheese I said ‘where?!’”
A photographer sometimes gets people to smile by getting subjects to say "cheese." A joke is: "I was never a photogenic person, mainly because when everyone said cheese I said…
“I was on the beach and got hit by a massive wave of cake. It was a tiramisunami”
"Tiramisu" (a coffee-flavoured Italian dessert) and "tsunami" (a series of waves in a water body) are two foreign language words that are sometimes combined to form…
“I was once a people person, but people ruined that for me. So now I’m a coffee person”
Entry in progress -- BP X/Twitter ⒷⓊⒷⒷⓁⓎ T 🇨🇦☀️🫧 @smileitsfree44 I used to be a people person But people ruined that for me Now I’m a coffee person😏 Tread lightly…
“I was out on a date with a girl, when I asked her, ‘Do you spit or swallow?’” (wine tasting joke)
"Do you spit or swallow?" is a wine tasting question (and oral sex double entendre). "Wine tasting.. Where to ask a chick whether she spits or swallows is considered good…
“I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’” (joke)
One of the top ten jokes at the 2011 Edinburgh Comedy Awards was: "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting.' So we stopped playing…
“I was poor, I had to use old calendars for toilet paper. Now those days are behind me”
What do people do with old calendars? A joke was posted on Twitter by The Rudeman on April 16, 2013: "Once we were so poor, we only had old calendars to use as toilet paper. Now those days are…
“I was robbed at the gas station today!” (high gas prices joke)
An "I was robbed at the gas station" joke about high gas prices was popular in 2012, and then again in 2021. "Me:I was robbed at the gas station police: did you see who did it?…
“I was sad, then I saw food”
"I was sad, then I saw food" is a one-line food saying that has been printed on many images. "I was sad, but then I saw food. Now I feel better" was posted on Twitter on July…
“I was shopping online and saw a horse that I rather liked. So I clicked ‘Add to cart’”
Online shopping often has the option "Add to cart." This cart doesn't involve a horse, but a joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on September 29, 2010: "I was shopping…
“I was sitting at a bar last night and this Asian-looking fellow sits down next to me and takes a sip of beer…”
A politically incorrect bar joke from 2011 has an Asian-looking man enter a bar, sit next to the speaker and take a sip of beer. The speaker asks if the man knows any of the martial arts. The man…
“I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning…” (joke)
"I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself... I really need to wash some mugs" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 24, 2018. The joke is…