“I’d rather have a gun in the hand than a cop on the phone”
"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I’d rather have four quarters than a hundred pennies”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksThe Blue And Silver Shark: A Biker's Story: (Book 5 in the Series)By Edward Winterhalder and Marc TeatuJenison, MI: Blockhead City Inc.2015Pg. ?:He had…
“I’d rather let someone see me naked than parallel park”
Many people find that parallel parking is difficult. "I'd rather let someone see me naked than parallel park" is a saying that has been printed on an image. "I'd rather…
“I’d rather trust my neighbors with more freedom than trust my politicians with more power”
"I'd rather trust my neighbors with more freedom than trust my politicians with more power" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "I'd rather trust my…
“I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I won’t get a reaction”
"I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I won't get a reaction" is a jocular line printed on many images. "I was going to make a chemistry joke, but I wasn't sure…
“I’d tell you an economics joke, but there’s not enough demand”
"I'd tell you an economics joke, but there's not enough demand" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Economics is about supply and demand. "So nobody…
“I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day”
"I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don't want to see you every day" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on the…
“I’ll be back on my feet once the coffee reaches life supporting levels”
"I will be back on my feet once the coffee reaches life supporting levels" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. There are several slight variations. "I'll be…
“I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.” (stand-up comedian joke)
"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, you've been a wonderful audience. I'll be here all week. Try the veal. And don't forget to tip your servers" is a classic line that a…
“I’ll be Irish in a few beers”
"I'll be Irish in a few beers" (a pun on "in a few years") is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "Let everybody know you're ready…
“I’ll control my guns. You control your kids”
"I'll control my guns. You control your kids" is a pro-Second Amendment saying that has been printed on many images. "Seen a sign today that said 'You control your kids,…
“I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly”
"I'll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Benji…
“I’ll eat a bowl of water with a fork before I GAF about your opinion of me”
"I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I care what anyone thinks of me" (or "I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I give a fuck about your opinion of me") is a…
“I’ll eat a bowl of water with a fork before I give a damn about your opinion of me”
"I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I care what anyone thinks of me" (or "I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I give a fuck about your opinion of me") is a…
“I’ll eat a bowl of water with a fork before I give a fuck about your opinion of me”
"I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I care what anyone thinks of me" (or "I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I give a fuck about your opinion of me") is a…
“I’ll have a café mocha vodka Valium latte to go, please”
"I'll have a café mocha vodka Valium latte to go, please" is a jocular order (combining various popular daily infusions) that has been printed on many images. “I’ll have a cafe…
“I’ll have burnt toast and cold coffee” (restaurant customer joke)
An old joke has a sarcastic restaurant customer ordering a terrible breakfast of hard eggs, burned and cold toast, and weak coffee. The waitress tells him that it would be difficult to make. The…
“I’ll have the chef’s salad.”/“That’s so rude. Just order your own!”
A "chef's salad" is a salad construction by a chef. It is not a salad that a chef eats, but there are jokes. "Winds us up that every restaurant serves 'Chef's…
“I’ll have the mouse, please.”/“That’s mousse, sir.”
"Mousse" shouldn't be confused with "mouse" or "moose," but there are jokes. Wikipedia: MousseA mousse (/ˈmuːs/; French: [mus]; "foam") is a soft…
“I’ll have what she’s having!”
Katz's Deli, 205 East Houston Street. Meg Ryan. Billy Crystal. When Harry Met Sally... (1989), directed by Rob Reiner, with a screenplay by Nora Ephron. Harry and Sally are seated. Sally fakes…