“I ain’t rich but I get off my ass everyday to make sure I’m not broke”
"I ain't rich but I get off my ass everyday to make sure I ain't broke" (or "I ain't rich but I get off my ass everyday to make sure I'm not broke") is a…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I almost caught COVID yesterday, but I quickly stood on a social distancing sticker”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many stores having social distancing stickers where customers can stand at a distance from each other. The joke is that a person is safe standing on a…
“I almost had an ‘I need a guy’ moment, but then I was able to get the vodka open”
"I almost had an 'I need a guy' moment, but then I was able to get the vodka/wine open" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying probably originated…
“I almost had an ‘I need a guy’ moment, but then I was able to get the wine open”
"I almost had an 'I need a guy' moment, but then I was able to get the vodka/wine open" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying probably originated…
“I always call the second half of a sandwich I eat the ‘b side’”
A sandwich is often cut in half, and people have several feelings about the second half of the sandwich. "The Second half of a sandwich is always the best piece" was posted on X/Twitter…
“I always double-check our garage door is closed at night. I don’t want someone stealing all the stuff we’ve been trying to get rid of for years”
Many people keep junk in the garage. This was posted on X/Twitter by McDad on July 28, 2022: "I always double-check our garage door is closed at night. I don’t want someone stealing all the…
“I always feel like I just passed my ‘Best If Used By’ date”
"I think I’m approaching my 'Best If Used By' date" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A "Best If Used By" date usually applies to foods, not…
“I always get pickle and chutney mixed up. It makes me chuckle”
If you combine pickle and chutney, do you get the portmanteau word "chuckle"? "Morrison's dilemma of the Day: What's the difference between chutney and pickle? And if you…
“I always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday”
"I always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday" is a popular saying on many gift items, such as T-shirts and posters. The daily percentages…
“I always give 100%. Which is why I lost my job as an exam marker”
Should one always give 100% (or 110%) at work? "I always give 110%. That's why I lost my job In the examination bored" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Lewis Gardiner on…
“I always have a quotation for everything—it saves original thinking”
"I always have a quotation for everything -- it saves original thinking" was written by English crime novelist Dorothy L. Sayers (1893-1957) in Strong Poison: Have His Carcase (1932). The…
“I always have a well-balanced breakfast of coffee and more coffee”
A "balanced breakfast" usually means a variety of breakfast items, such as eggs, bacon, cheese, oatmeal, cereal, milk, orange juice and coffee. To some people, a "balanced…
“I always have a well-balanced breakfast of coffee, coffee, and a little more coffee”
A "balanced breakfast" usually means a variety of breakfast items, such as eggs, bacon, cheese, oatmeal, cereal, milk, orange juice and coffee. To some people, a "balanced…
“I always pick the checkout aisle with the most attractive cashier. The self-checkout”
Some people look for the checkout with the hottest-looking cashier. "I always pick out the best looking cashier at the market, self check out lane it is" was posted on Twitter on…
“I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that crap up”
"I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shit up" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I always regret making a…
“I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shit up”
"I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shit up" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I always regret making a…
“I always regret making a good first impression. Because there’s no way I can keep that up for long”
"I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shit up" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I always regret making a…
“I always say thank you to Alexa so that when the machines take over they know I am nice”
Some people say "please" and "thank you" even to a virtual assistant such as Siri or Amazon Alexa. The reason? "Nah, just practicing for when the machines take over? RT…
“I always see adults pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway, and I’m like okay…”
"I always see adults pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway and I’m like okay one of us is doing it wrong and I think it’s you" and "Sometimes I see people pour a glass of…
“I always start my diet on the same day—tomorrow”
"I always start my diet on the same day -- tomorrow" is a jocular one-liner about people who never do start a diet. "I always start my diet on the same day: tomorrow" was cited…