“I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me”
"I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me" is a popular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts, posters and bumper stickers. A version of the joke…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I keep trying to remember to buy new Post-It notes, but I don’t have anything to remind me”
Post-It notes are reminders, but when they run out, how does someone remember to buy more? "I keep forgetting to buy new Post-its because I have nothing left I can use to remind me to buy new…
“I kicked some dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator. It’s now water under the fridge”
“Lazy rule: If ice falls, kick it under the refrigerator” is a rule about dropped ice cubes. Does the ice then become "water under the fridge" (a pun on "water under the…
“I kinda wish Dolly sang 10-2 instead”
"9 to 5" is a 1980 song written and recorded by American entertainer Dolly Parton
“I kinda wish Dolly sang 10-3 instead”
"9 to 5" is a 1980 song written and recorded by American entertainer Dolly Parton
“I kiss better than I cook”
"Kiss the cook" is an old food saying. "I kiss better than I cook" is a saying that has been on T-shirts, refrigerator magnets and other gift items since at least 2002.…
“I knew a guy who collected candy canes. They were all in mint condition”
Are candy canes always in "mint" (peppermint) condition? "I might as well reuse last year's candy canes. After all, they are in mint condition" was posted on Twitter on…
“I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early”
New York Yankee catcher Yogi Berra is known for his quotations ("Berraisms") as well as his play. The Yankees were playing the Brooklyn Dodgers in the 1947 World Series, and Berra was…
“I knew school was a joke when I had a fat PE teacher”
"I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn't own a business, and my PE teacher was fat" is a saying that has been printed on many images. In other words, the teachers…
“I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat”
"I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn't own a business, and my PE teacher was fat" is a saying that has been printed on many images. In other words, the teachers…
“I knew school was a scam when my business teacher never owned a business”
"I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn't own a business, and my PE teacher was fat" is a saying that has been printed on many images. In other words, the teachers…
“I knew school was a scam when we had a fat PE teacher”
"I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn't own a business, and my PE teacher was fat" is a saying that has been printed on many images. In other words, the teachers…
“I knew school wasn’t for me when I cheated on a test and still failed”
Failing a test is bad. Failing an open book test very bad. Cheating and still failing a test is also very bad. "#worstfeeling cheating on a test and still failing smh" was posted on…
“I knew school wasn’t for me when I failed an open book test”
Failing a test is bad. Failing an open book test very bad. Cheating and still failing a test is also very bad. "#worstfeeling cheating on a test and still failing smh" was posted on…
“I knew summer was coming and I just kept eating”
People usually try to get in shape for the summer, when the weather is warmer and they will be wearing less clothing. "You knew summer was coming and you just kept eating" (or "You…
“I knew the psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check”
"I knew the psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check" is a joke that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker wrote a check on insufficient funds, but the psychic…
“I knocked a guy over with a bottle of sparkling wine. It required some Brut force”
"Brut" (very dry, said of wine) shouldn't be confused with "brute," but there are jokes. "Brut force" is a pun on "brute force." "I knocked a guy…
“I know a bunch of good jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over people’s heads”
"I know a lot of very clever jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over peoples heads" was posted on Twitter by BIG_BEAR_F1 on September 7, 2010. "I know a lot of…
“I know a bunch of good puns about umbrellas but they usually go over people’s heads”
"I know a lot of very clever jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over peoples heads" was posted on Twitter by BIG_BEAR_F1 on September 7, 2010. "I know a lot of…
“I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time”
"I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time" is a joke about addiction that has been posted on many images. "The man addicted to brake fluid said he…