“I know alcohol isn’t the answer, but it’s my best guess”
"I know alcohol isn't the answer, but it's always my best guess" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on many ecards. "I know alcohol is never the answer, but…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I know an introverted entrepreneur in the coal industry. He mined his own business”
"Mind your business" shouldn't be confused with "mined your business," but there are jokes. "I sell coal for a living because I took everyone's advice and mined…
“I know every single digit of pi. Just not in the right order”
The number π ("pi") is a mathematical constant, the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. The first digits are 3.14159. "I know every digit of pi in base 10!…
“I know Facebook has never caused the lame to walk, but it sure has caused the dumb to speak”
"The people were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the crippled made well, the lame walking and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel" is from Matthew 15:31.There are…
“I know how to do anything. I’m a mom”
"I know how to do anything. I'm a mom" is a popular Mother's Day quotation that has been printed on many images. American actress and comedian Roseanne Barr said it on the…
“I know how to load more than a washer & dryer” (pro-gun slogan)
"I know how to load more than a washer & dryer" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many shirts. "Dear guys, I know how to load more than the washer and dryer.…
“I know HTML (How To Meet Ladies)”
"HTML" usually stands for "Hypertext Markup Language," the standard markup language for creating web pages. A backronym (back acronym) joke has been printed on many images:…
“I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: Robert BenchleyRobert Charles Benchley (September 15, 1889 – November 21, 1945) was an American humorist, critic and actor.(...)So who's in a hurry?. To…
“I know it’s cheesy, but I feel grate”
"I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate" is a pun-filled saying that has been printed on several images, usually with a picture of a cheese grater. The saying was posted on Twitter on…
“I know it’s irrational, but it bothers me when someone parks in front of my house to go visit my next door neighbor”
Many people who live on a quiet residential street don't like it when someone parks in front of their house (and who isn't coming to their house). The homeowner regards the space as…
“I know it’s not true, but let’s make the sonafabitch deny it” (a loaded political question)
A classic political story involves a loaded political question. A politician tells his campaign manager to spread the rumor that an opponent has sex with pigs. "We can't do that. It…
“I know it’s time to clean out my purse when my car assumes it’s a second passenger…”
Many people place a handbag on the empty passenger seat of a car. "I know it’s time to clean out my purse when my car assumes it’s a second passenger who’s not wearing their…
“I know loads of jokes about cash machines, I just can’t think of one atm”
"ATM" can stand for "Automated Teller Machine," but it can also mean "At The Moment." "I was gonna tweet a joke about a bank but I just can't think of one…
“I know my mom be reading some of my posts like, ‘I tried my best’”
"I bet my mom looks at my posts and thinks, 'I did all that I could'" is a social media saying that has been printed on many images.. "I know my mom looking at my posts…
“I know several jokes in sign language. I guarantee nobody has ever heard them”
Sign language is not a spoken language. A joke was posted on AskReddit on July 9, 2020: "I know several jokes in sign language. I guarantee nobody has ever heard them." Reddit --…
“I know she ate a worm, but we are not here to debate de bait deb ate”
"I know she ate a worm, but we are not here to debate de bait deb ate" is a silly saying that has been printed on several images. "look, i know she ate a worm but we are not here to…
“I know they didn’t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax return”
Most people don't like to pay taxes, but they want to comply. "I know they didn't ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my late tax return" was posted on Facebook by…
“I know you shouldn’t text and drive but I’ve only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I should be okay”
You shouldn't text while driving. Texting before driving is a different story. A joke is: "I know you shouldn't text and drive but I've only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I…
“I laugh stuff off cause prison don’t serve tequila”
"I laugh stuff off cause prison don't serve tequila" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, if the speaker were to real true thoughts on social media, it would…
“I lava baklava”
Baklava (a dessert) has nothing to do with lava, but there are jokes. Some baklava jokes involve the children's game of "the floor is lava." "I wonder if Greek kids play a game…