“The only thing lit in my life is my check engine light”
The "light of one's life" is often a person (such as a family member) or a religious figure (such as Jesus). A joke is that the only "light of one's life" that's…
“The only consistent thing in my life is that my check engine light is always on”
The "light of one's life" is often a person (such as a family member) or a religious figure (such as Jesus). A joke is that the only "light of one's life" that's…
“Fitness level status: hurt my shoulder while moving my weighted blanket”
Many people own weighted blankets, and joke that moving them is a real workout. Wikipedia: Weighted blanket A weighted blanket is an especially heavy blanket that is used to aid sleep and reduce…
“Do I dislike orange flavoured liqueurs? On the cointreaury”
Cointreau is a brand of orange-flavoured triple sec liqueur produced in Saint-Barthélemy-d'Anjou, France. "On the cointreaury" is a pun of "on the contrary." "on the…
“If you need to buy stuff just to organize your existing stuff, maybe you own too much stuff”
"If you have to buy stuff to store your stuff, you might have too much stuff" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is from Courtney Carver of the website…
“There was a shootout at Old Navy. There were many casual-tees”
The word "casualty" has nothing to do with "casual tees" (T-shirts), but there are jokes. "There was a shootout at Old Navy. There were many casual-tees #BADOMCHHHH"…
“[Inventor of cage-free eggs] Why are these eggs in these cages?”
"Cage-free eggs" usually means that the eggs rae from birds that may be permitted outdoors. The term does not mean that the eggs are free from being kept in cages, but there is a joke.…
“I don’t know what my spirit animal is, but I’m pretty sure it has a cone around its neck”
"'I don’t know what my spirit animal is, but I’m pretty sure it has a cone around its neck.' -- @Sheila_Mac420 (via @SelenaMaranjian)" was posted on Facebook by Mark…
“Twitter is like waking up in a mental asylum, you have no idea you are committed until you try to leave”
"Twitter is like waking up in a mental asylum, you have no idea you are committed until you try to leave" was posted on X/Twitter by HuMMingBird on May 21, 2016, and this received over…
“Remember, your liver is stronger than your heart. It’s safer to get drunk than to fall in love”
"Remember/Reminder, your liver is stronger than your heart. It's safer to get drunk than to fall in love" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship of the saying…
“Heard there was a fire at Old Navy. Nobody died but there were reports of casual tees”
The word "casualty" has nothing to do with "casual tees" (T-shirts), but there are jokes. "There was a shootout at Old Navy. There were many casual-tees #BADOMCHHHH"…
“I can’t vacuum. I lost a puzzle piece 3 years ago”
Many people have an excuse not to vacuum the floor -- something was lost that needs to be found first. "my floor is disgusting but i can't vacuum until i find my earring" was posted…
“All pets are therapy pets. Most are just working undercover”
"All pets are therapy pets. Most are just working undercover" is a saying that has been printed on many images. “All dogs are therapy dogs. Most are just freelancing” is a related…
“If you have to buy stuff to store your stuff, you might have too much stuff”
"If you have to buy stuff to store your stuff, you might have too much stuff" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is from Courtney Carver of the website…
“Somehow, all your tiredness vanishes when Friday night begins”
People get tired working during the week, but Friday perks many people up. "Somehow, I feel all the tiredness vanishes when Friday night begins.🤔" was posted on Facebook by Kingston…
“Beef stew is short for beef stewart”
"Beef stew" is not short for "beef stewart" or "beef stuart," but there are jokes. "Stew: I'm just so angry! Geoffrey Jellineck: Obviously you have a beef,…
“All dogs are therapy dogs. Most are just freelancing”
"All dogs are therapy dogs. Most are just freelancing" is a saying that has been printed on many images “All pets are therapy pets. Most are just working undercover” and “All dogs…
“Dear unfollowers, Take me with you”
A joke has it that maybe the unfollowers on social media have the right idea. "Unfollowers whered you go take me with youuuu! 😟" was posted on X/Twitter by emily on April 2, 2013.…
“Welcome to middle-age. If you’re not already carrying a little extra weight, some will be assigned to you”
Many people gain weight in middle age. This was posted on X/Twitter by Darla on June 12, 2018, and again on X/Twitter on January 3, 2025: "Welcome to middle-age. If you’re not already…
“Unfollowers, take me with you”
A joke has it that maybe the unfollowers on social media have the right idea. "Unfollowers whered you go take me with youuuu! 😟" was posted on X/Twitter by emily on April 2, 2013.…