Cupcakery (cupcake + bakery)
A "cupcakery" (cupcake + bakery) is a bakery that specializes in cupcakes. The term "cupcakery" has been cited in print since at least 2001. Many establishments have…
“So far, so good!” (Empire State Building jumper joke)
A joke is told about the "optimist" who fell or jumped off New York City's Empire State Building. As he was falling many floors, someone asked, "How's it going?" He…
“Minor surgery is surgery that happens to someone else”
"Minor surgery is surgery that happens to someone else" is an old medical joke. "Surgery is only minor if it happens to someone else" was mentioned as an "old joke" in…
“Great trade! Who’d we get?”
Philadelphia Phillies baseball player Lenny Dykstra was told, in December 1991, that teammate Von Hayes had been traded. Dykstra said: "Hey, that's a great trade, who did we get?"…
“What do you call someone who hangs around musicians?”/“A drummer.”
Drummers have been the subject of many jokes. One popular joke is: Q: What doyou call someone who hangs out with musicians?A: A drummer. It's not known who first told the joke, but the joke…
“The Senate is the enemy” (House of Representatives saying)
A popular story told about the House of Representatives is that a freshman Democrat declared that a Republican across the aisle was his enemy. A House colleague told the freshman Representative…
“A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre” (bar joke)
One popular bar joke is: "A woman walked into a bar and ordered a double entendre, so the barman gave her one." It's not known who originated the joke. "A girl waks into a bar…
“The team that gets the best player wins the trade”
"The team that gets the best player wins the trade" is a sports adage meaning that trading for quality ("the best player") is better than trading for quantity (several good…
Do-Nothing Congress
The 80th United States Congress (March 3, 1947-January 3, 1949), controlled by the Republicans, was frequently called by the minority Democrats as the "Do-Nothing Congress." The term…
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!”
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!" is a joke that has been credited to British prop comedian and magician Tommy Cooper (1921-1984). "I'm on a…
“Summer has arrived when the rain is warm”
An old joke is told in places where it rains much of the time: "Summer has arrived (in Seattle/ Vancouver/ Ireland/ Scotland/ Wales/ England) when the rain is warm." "You can tell…
“There, I guess King George will be able to read that!” (John Hancock?)
John Hancock (1737-1793) was president of Congress when the Declaration of Independence was adopted; he signed the document with a large signature in the center, supposedly saying: "There, I…
“The first draft of anything is shit”
Arnold Samuelson, a young aspiring writer from North Dakota, met up with his idol, American author Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961), in Key West in 1934. Samuelson became Hemingway's "boat…
“Soccer is America’s sport of the future—and always will be”
"Soccer is America's sport of the future -- and always will be" is an old joke about a sport that has long been predicted to explode in popularity in the United States. "Brazil…
“The rich have advantages that money cannot buy”
American economist Larry Summers wrote an opinion in the Financial Times on June 8, 2014, titled "The rich have advantages that money cannot buy." Summers pointed out that income…
“What do you call a fake noodle?”/“An impasta.”
A popular pasta joke is: Q: What do you call a fake noodle?A: An impasta. "Impasta" appeared in a pasta advertisement in 1991. "Q: What do you call a ravioli that pretends to be a…
“When is soup musical?”/“When it’s piping hot.”
A popular soup joke is: Q: When is soup musical?A: When it's served piping hot! "When is water musical?" was cited in print in 1995 and "When is a plum pudding musical" was…
“What did the baby corn say to its mom?”/“Where’s my pop corn?”
Popcorn is the subject of a frequently told joke: Q: What did the baby corn say to its mom? A: Where's pop corn? The joke has been cited in print since at least 1977. “Who called them dad…
“What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish?” (joke)
"What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish?" is a popular food joke. The Spanish word "soy" means "I am." although the word "milk"…
Subway Acrobat
A "subway acrobat" is someone who performs gymnastic moves on the subway, often using the subway's poles (or straps). The show is done for free, but the performer usually asks for…