“If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘donuts’. I’ll turn around and look”
Donna Macabre tweeted on August 11, 2015: "If you can't remember my name, just say 'donuts'. I'll turn around and look." "Donuts" is often replaced with…
“Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?”/“There was no chemistry.”
A school science joke is: Q: Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?A: There was no chemistry. The joke was posted on Twitter on September 3, 2010 and has been printed on…
“How’s the New Year going?”/“Shofar, so good.”
The shofar (ram's horn) is sounded on Rosh Hashanah (the start of the Jewish New Year) and on Yom Kippur (the end of the Jewish New Year). "Shofar" sounds like "so far,"…
“Two fermions walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A physics joke about two fermions (and the Pauli exclusion principle) is: "Two…
Montauk: The Un-Hamptons (nickname)
Montauk is located on the eastern tip of Long Island. It's a tourist destination and mostly a working class community, unlike The Hamptons nearby. Montauk has been called "The…
“The eye in the sky never lies” (game film adage)
Football teams have game film and also practice film. A camera (the "eye in the sky") takes a view of the entire field and all of the players. "The eye in the sky doesn't…
“Alcoholics don’t run in my family. They stumble around breaking stuff”
"Alcoholics don't run in my family. They stumble around breaking stuff" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images "Alcoholics don't run in my family. They…
“Which do you prefer: chess or sex?”/“It depends on the position.”
Boris Spassky, who was WOrld Chess Champion from 1969 to 1972, was supposedly asked what he liked better, chess or sex? "It depends on the position," Spassky supposedly answered.…
“Why did the stand-up comedian get a job at Domino’s?”/“He needed to work on his delivery.”
A stand-up comedian has to have a good "delivery." Several "delivery" jokes involve pizza delivery, postal delivery and an obstetrician's baby "delivery."…
“All those crosses along highways. Christians are terrible drivers”
Many streets have roadside memorials -- usually crosses -- to commemorate a tragic accident that occurred there. There are very few crescents (Islam) or stars of David (Judaism). A joke is:…
Apple Pie Trail (Blue Mountains, Ontario; Orange County, NY)
An "Apple Pie Trail" is a stretch where one can find apple pies (or just apples). The lodges in Nepal provided apple pies for foreign trekkers and became known as an "apple pie…
“A German walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A German version is: "A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender…
“While you are in New York, there is a bar that you have to go to” (joke)
There's a joke about the best bar in a big city (usually New York), as one person tells another. When you walk in, you're handed a free drink! Then, they take you in the back and you get…
“He may not be in a class by himself, but it doesn’t take long to call the roll”
Houston Oilers Coach Bum Phillips (1923-2013) said of his star running back Earl Campbell in November 1979: "Earl may not be in a class by himself, but whatever class he's in, it…
Pizzaflation (pizza + inflation)
"Pizzaflation" (pizza + inflation) is an infrequently used term. As printed in a 1987 newspaper. "pizzaflation" meant the inflation of pizza crust. A 2012 blog described…
Pizzaflation (pizza + inflation)
"Pizzaflation" (pizza + inflation) is an infrequently used term. As printed in a 1987 newspaper. "pizzaflation" meant the inflation of pizza crust. A 2012 blog described…
“Bill Gates walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Bill Gates version is: "Bill Gates walks into a bar and everyone inside becomes a…
Bumbling Bomber
Ahmad Khan Rahami allegedly set bombs in New York and New Jersey in September 2016. They didn't do much damage and Rahami was located sleeping in a doorway. The New York (NY) Daily News came…
“What’s the hardest part about skateboarding?”/“Telling your parents you’re gay.”
The American crime drama television series The Sopranos, on the episode "Cold Stones" that aired on May 21, 2006, contained this line: "What's the hardest thing about…
“Karma is a bitch”
"Karma is a bitch" probably relates to the sayings "life is a bitch" and "payback is a bitch." The "karma" in the saying is a combination of "life"…