“Horse meat burgers won’t be around furlong”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterJon Dunn@cromercanary@blackratgreen Best thing to do is nag the buyers at your local Tesco - the offending burgers won't be around furlong.That's the mane…
“I saw a pasta driving a piece of yellow fruit. Spaghetti in a car banana”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: CarbonaraCarbonara (Italian: [karboˈnaːra]) is an Italian pasta dish from Rome made with eggs, cheese (Pecorino Romano or Parmigiano-Reggiano), bacon…
“A man spilled his Scrabble set on the road. I asked, ‘What’s the word on the street?’”
A pun about the term "word on the street" is: "A man spilled his Scrabble set on the road, I asked, 'What's the word on the street?'" "A man spilled his…
“I ate at Mary Poppin’s Restaurant. Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious!”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Mary Poppins (film)Mary Poppins is a 1964 American musical fantasy comedy film directed by Robert Stevenson and produced by Walt Disney, with songs written and…
“What’s an accountant’s idea of trashing a hotel room?”/“Not filling out the comment card.”
A joke about an accountant's supposedly mild personality is: Q: What's an accountant's idea of trashing his/her hotel room? A: Refusing to fill out the guest comment card. The joke…
“What’s an accountant’s idea of trashing a hotel room?”/“Not filling out the comment card.”
A joke about an accountant's supposedly mild personality is: Q: What's an accountant's idea of trashing his/her hotel room? A: Refusing to fill out the guest comment card. The joke…
“What’s yellow and square?”/“A tomato in disguise.”
A tomato riddle is: Q: What's yellow and square?A: A tomato in disguise. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2004. “What’s blue and looks like a tomato?"/"A red…
“How do trains drink?”/“They chug.”
A train riddle is: Q: How do trains drink?A: They chug. The riddle was posted on the website Pun of the Day on January 3, 2017. TwitterMichael Grace@RFYDNorgJanuary 3, 2017 - How do trains…
“A drunk dyslexic wanks into a jar” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." “A dyslexic man walks into a bra” is a classic joke. Another "dyslexic" joke…
“What’s blue and looks like a tomato?”/“A red tomato in disguise.”
A tomato riddle is: Q: What's blue and looks like a tomato?A: A red tomato is disguise. The riddle was posted on Twitter by "anti joke apple" on April 11, 2014. “What’s yellow…
“How do trains drink?”/“They chug.”
A train riddle is: Q: How do trains drink?A: They chug. The riddle was posted on the website Pun of the Day on January 3, 2017. TwitterMichael Grace@RFYDNorgJanuary 3, 2017 - How do trains…
“The next person who asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade is gonna get a punch”
A pun on the two meanings of "punch" was posted on Twitter by "John" on January 31. 2015: "The next person to ask for pineapple juice cranberry juice, lemonade and a load…
“It’s IKEA’s birthday today, so I took them some eggs, flour, icing sugar, butter and a whisk”
IKEA is a store that sells ready-to-assemble furniture. "Happy 25th Birthday IKEA! Here's your Cake.x" (with a picture of cake ingredients) was posted by Masai Graham on Twitter on…
“My wife’s cooking is incredible. With a silent ‘cr’”
"My wife's cooking is incredible. With a silent 'cr'" is a funny way to say that the cooking is "inedible." The saying was posted on Twitter on January 18, 2016…
“We accept weather predictions from a rodent, but deny climate change evidence by scientists”
A political Groundhog Day saying that has been printed on many images is: "Only in America do we accept weather predictions from a rodent, but deny climate change evidence by scientists. Happy…
“Took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name”
Starbucks coffeehouses ask for a customer's name when the order is taken. "Took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on…
“Diet tip: Your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any”
"Diet tip: Your pants will never get too tight if you don't wear any" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted by…
“Sex ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight”
"Sex education classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight while watching the same cartoon on repeat" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed…
“Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female”
"Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female" is a jocular one-lien saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Dylan Horst on July 31, 2012.…
“IKEA: Legos for adults”
IKEA is a store that sells ready-to-assemble furniture. It's often been compared to children's LEGO plastic construction toys. "Adult Legos (IKEA)" was cited in May 2007.…