“What’s a fresh vegetable?”/“One that insults a farmer.”
What's a fresh vegetable? A riddle has been cited in print since at least 1979: Q: What do you call a carrot that insults a farmer?A: A fresh vegetable. Another form of the joke was posted on…
“What do cannibals eat for breakfast?”/“Buttered host.”
A cannibal breakfast riddle is: Q: What do cannibals have for breakfast?A: Buttered host. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. Google Groups: rec.humorCannibal jokes! Was: Re: Can…
“What food is good for the brain?”/“Noodle soup.”
"Noodle" is slang for "brain." A popular riddle is: Q: What food is good for the brain?A: Noodle soup. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest…
“Why did the cannibal break up with his valentine?”/“She didn’t suit his taste.”
A popular Valentine's Day cannibal riddle is: Q: Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend/valentine?A: She didn't suit his taste. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“I like my women how I like my laptop. On my lap, turned on and virus free”
"I like my women like I like my coffee" is a meme that has been used on many images. "A Negro comedian pulled this one: 'I like my coffee strong and black -- the same way I like…
“I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot and on my lap”
"I like my women like I like my coffee" is a meme that has been used on many images. "A Negro comedian pulled this one: 'I like my coffee strong and black -- the same way I like…
“I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons. You make me sick!”
A Valentine's Day joke is: GIRL: I can't be your valentine for medical reasons.BOY: Really?GIRL: Yeah, you make me sick! The joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. 14 February…
“What’s the difference between you and a calendar?”/“A calendar has a date on Valentine’s Day.”
A Valentine's Day riddle is: Q: What's the difference between you and a calendar?A: A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day. "What's the difference between you and a…
“What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak? February 14th”
Do restaurants overcharge for Valentine's Day? "Dan" posted on Twitter on February 13, 2015: "What's the difference between a $15 steak & a $50 steak? February 13 &…
“Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?”/“Because you can really party hearty!”
A heart-based Valentine's Day riddle is: Q: Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?A: Because you can really party hearty! The riddle was posted to the newsgroup…
“What did the chocolate sauce say to the ice cream?”/“I’m sweet on you!”
An ice cream riddle -- popular on Valentine's Day -- is: Q: What did the chocolate sauce/syrup say to the ice cream?A: "I'm sweet on you!" The riddle has been cited in print…
“Why didn’t Cupid shoot at the lawyer’s heart?”/“Because Cupid can’t hit a target that small.”
A popular Valentine's Day lawyer joke is: Q: Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart?A: Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small. The riddle has been…
“Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is”
A Valentine's Day saying has been printed on several images: "Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.: The saying was posted to…
“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day”
A jocular saying about Valentine's Day has been printed on many images: "I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the…
“Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married” (joke)
A popular Valentine's Day joke is: "Two antennas/antennae/aerials met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent." The…
“I’m giving up alcohol for a month” (joke)
"I'm giving up alcohol for a month" is a joke that has been printed on man yGIFs. "Sebas" wrote on Twitter on January 5, 2016: "I'm giving up alcohol for a month.…
“Alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is ‘What is C2H5OH?’”
Ethanol (drinking alcohol) can be represented as C2H5OH. A joke is: "Alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is 'What is C2H5OH?'" The jocular one-line saying was…
“There’s a reason why ‘sober’ and ‘so bored’ sound almost exactly the same”
"There's a reason why 'sober' and 'so bored' sound almost exactly the same" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several ecards. "Day 2 of…
“Eat all the junk food you want, as long as you cook it yourself”
Food author Michael Pollan wrote in Food Rules: An Eater's Manual (2009): "Eat all the junk food you want, as long as you cook it yourself." Pollan came up with the rule by at least…
“I know alcohol isn’t the answer, but it’s my best guess”
"I know alcohol isn't the answer, but it's always my best guess" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on many ecards. "I know alcohol is never the answer, but…