“A black hole walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An astronomy version is: "A black hole walks into a bar. It tells the bartender,…
“A poem about work: Coffee. Blah blah blah. Drive home. Wine”
"A poem about work: Coffee. Blah blah blah. Drive home. Wine" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 19, 2016.…
“If people are talking about you behind your back, then just fart”
"If people are talking about you behind your back, then just fart" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Don't get angry when people are talking behind your…
“I’m not lazy. I’m on energy saving mode”
"I'm not lazy. I'm on energy saving mode" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "I'm not lazy - I'm just in the energy saving mode" was…
“What do you need to make dill bread?”/“Dill dough.”
A risqué riddle about dill bread is: Q: What do you need to make dill bread?A: Dill dough (dildo). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1990. Similar "dill" and…
Great White Way (Broadway nickname)
"Great White Way" has been the most popular nickname for the Broadway theater district in New York City. "The Great White Way" was originally the title of a 1901 book by Albert…
“There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2”
"There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2" is a jocular one-line saying about reclaimed or recycled water that has been printed on many images.…
“Failed at making an omelet, so now I’m having scrambled eggs”
"Failed at making an omelet, so now I'm having scrambled eggs" is a jocular saying about preparing eggs that has been printed on many images. "Attempted to make an omelet this…
“Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly”
"Can't find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly" is a jocular one-line saying about wifi that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on…
“For many people, ‘live and learn’ is one task too many”
"Live and learn" is an old saying. "For many people, 'live and learn' is one task too many" is a variation on this saying that was posted on Twitter by "God"…
“Needing insurance is like needing a parachute…”
An insurance saying -- sometimes jocularly attributed to Confucius -- that has been printed on many images is: "Confucius Say: Needing insurance is like needing a parachute. If it isn't…
“When life gives you lemons. Life probably stole those lemons from some nice old lady”
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" is an old saying from the early 1900s. An anti-joke variation is: "When life gives you lemons. Life probably stole those lemons from some…
Longest Street in America (Broadway)
Broadway has sometimes been called "the longest street in America." "And our Great White Way is the brightest spot in the universe. The finest parks in the world are here. And the…
“What’s the fastest fast food?”/“Lamb-burger-inis.”
A fast food riddle is: Q: What's the fastest fast food?A: Lamb-burger-inis. The fast food joke was posted on the website PunGents on March 26, 2015. Wikipedia: LamborghiniAutomobili…
Longest Street in America (Broadway nickname)
Broadway has sometimes been called "the longest street in America." "And our Great White Way is the brightest spot in the universe. The finest parks in the world are here. And the…
“Don’t fart in an Apple store. They don’t have Windows”
"Don't fart in an Apple store. They don't have Windows" is a computer joke that has been printed on many images. "I just dropped a horrific fart in the Apple Store.…
“If money talks, they why do we need bank tellers?”
"Money talks” (meaning that money has influence) is an old financial saying, cited in print in various forms from before 1700. "Money talks" was printed in several American…
“Don’t fart in an Apple store. They don’t have Windows”
"Don't fart in an Apple store. They don't have Windows" is a computer joke that has been printed on many images. "I just dropped a horrific fart in the Apple Store.…
“How do they charge you in a Chinese restaurant?”/“Perpetuate.”
The word "perpetuate" sounds like "per pet you ate." A riddle is: Q: How do they charge you at a Chinese/Korean/Vietnamese restaurant?A: Perpetuate. "Dog show joke is like…
“Why is Microsoft so bad at writing music?”/“Because they can only use OneNote!”
Microsoft OneNote is a digital note-taking app. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 6, 2017: Q: Why is Microsoft so bad at writing music?A: Because they can only use OneNote! Wikipedia:…