“The ladder to success” (joke)
The word “success” sounds like “suck Cess.” A bawdy joke has a person climb the “ladder to success,” only to find a person at the top say, “I’m Cess.”
The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on October 8, 1993.
Google Groups: rec.humor
success
The Dude
10/8/93
read this joke somewhere long ago:
this yokel from utah is tired of his mediocre existence. he decides to make it big and sets off to new york. he’s wandering around aimlessly in downtown manhattan, stopping by help wanted ads without any success. suddenly, on the sidewalk he sees a huge ladder with a board: “climb this ladder to success.” the ladder is so huge, he can’t see where it’s top is. he starts climbing. he’s climbing for about 15 min and then sees the sign: you’re half way through to success. another 15 min and another sign: you’re 3/4ths through to success. (he was tired, you see). he still has hopes, and climbs and climbs. finally, he reaches the top to find a platform in which this man is sitting with a ‘huge’ hard-on, and says: “hey, yo! welcome man. i’m cess.”
Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokes
success
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
4/18/94
A man who had just lost his job was walking around town feeling rather low and shitty when he almost walked into a ladder which was leaning against an extremely tall building. He then noticed a sign hanging on the ladder which read : “Climb this ladder to success !” He decided he had nothing to lose anyway, so up he went. When he reached the top of the ladder - 22 floors above the ground - there was a guy sitting on the ledge with no pants on.
The guy who had just climbed the ladder said to him, “Hello, who’re who ?” He replied, “I’m Cess.”
Puff Cigar Discussion Forums
The ladder to suckcess
Rottenzombie
10-05-2008, 08:52 PM
A man who has just died finds himself standing at the gates of Heaven. To his right is standing an attractive women, and to his left is a ladder. The woman speaks, “Come with me through the gate and spend eternity with me, or climb the ladder to success.” The man always eager to get ahead in life chooses to climb the ladder. The man finds an even more beautiful woman standing in front of another gate. Next to her is another ladder. The woman says, “Come with me through the gate and all your fantasies will be granted, or climb the ladder to success.” This time the man is tempted, but his greed takes over and he climbs the ladder higher.
He again encounters a woman. This woman, however; is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She says, “come with me and I will satisfy your deepest desires forever, or climb the ladder to success.” The man can’t believe his luck. He decides to take his chances and climbs the ladder. He comes to another gate. This time there is no woman waiting for him. Suddenly an fat, balding, sweaty man walks up to him. “Are you God?” the man asks. “No,” the sweaty man replies. “I’m Cess.”
Reddit—Jokes
The ladder to success
submitted August 10, 2013 by 68024
A man who has just died finds himself standing at the gates of Heaven. To his right he sees an attractive woman, and to his left is a ladder. The woman says, “Come with me through the gate and spend eternity with me, or climb the ladder to success.” The man, always eager to get ahead in life, chooses to climb the ladder.
The man finds an even more beautiful woman standing in front of another gate. Next to her is another ladder. The woman says, “Come with me through the gate and all your fantasies will be granted, or climb the ladder to success.” This time the man is tempted, but his greed takes over and he climbs the ladder higher.
He again encounters a woman. This woman, however; is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She says, “come with me and I will satisfy your deepest desires forever, or climb the ladder to success.” The man can’t believe his luck. He decides to take his chances and climbs the ladder. He comes to another gate. This time there is no woman waiting for him, but a fat, balding, sweaty man instead.
“Are you God?” the man asks. “No,” the sweaty man replies. “I’m Cess.”
Reddit—Jokes
The ladder to success.
submitted September 15, 2015 by Lesbionical
A man is walking home from work one day and passes by a ladder against the side of a building. A strange looking individual in a croaky voice says to him, “would you like to climb the ladder to success?”
“What a silly pun!” Said the man, “I’m in no hurry, why not!”
So the man starts climbing the ladder, and reaches the second floor window. Standing inside the window is a fairly average looking woman dressed very promiscuously. “You can either have sex with me, or continue climbing the ladder to success,” she says.
The man considers the offer for a moment (and what an offer it was!). He makes his She says, “you can either have sex with me, or continue climbing the ladder to success.“decision however and continues climbing, “this must be my lucky day!”
At the third floor window there is a beautiful woman wearing nothing but lingerie. She says, “you can either have sex with me, or continue climbing the ladder to success.”
The man is completely taken aback, “this must be heaven!” he thought. After carefully weighing his options however, he decides that continuing his climb is the best choice. “What could top this? I must know!”
The man is now at the fourth floor window, and inside is a woman more beautiful than any he has ever seen, and wearing nothing at all! She says, “you can either have sex with me, or continue climbing the ladder to success.”
At this point the man is happier than he has ever been in his life! “Are there two women up top? Maybe there’s money as well? What could possibly be better than this!?” Curiosity now filled him, excitement causing his heart to beat faster and faster, and he decided he must find out what the ladder had in store!
Now the man was racing up the ladder, he moved so fast he flew right by the fifth window where he catches a glimpse of two of the most beautiful women he has ever seen! He finally makes it to the top of the ladder and is completely shocked by what he see’s, so much that he becomes weak and almost falls!
Inside the sixth floor window there is a man more fat and disfigured than any person you ever thought could have existed. He wheezes heavily, covered in sweat. In a struggled slow voice he says, “hi, I’m Cess.”
YouTube
Jokes: A man finds a random ladder that goes straight up into the clouds so…
Eddie Got Funny Jokes
Published on Jun 12, 2016
A man was walking along when he sees a ladder going straight up into the clouds, His curiosity gets the better of him so he starts climbing. He reaches a cloud, upon which is sitting a stout, ugly woman. “Screw me or climb the ladder to success,” she says. No thanks, thinks the man, so he climbs the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud is a slightly thinner woman, who is a bit easier on the eye. “Screw me hard or climb the ladder to success,” she says. “Well,” thinks the man, “might as well keep going.” On the next cloud is another lady who this time is very attractive. “Screw me now or climb the ladder to success,” she flirted. As he turns her down and goes on up the ladder, the man thinks to himself that this was getting better the further he went. On the next cloud is an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the whole works. “Screw me or climb the ladder to success,” she begs. Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man, he decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud, there was a 400-pound ugly man, armpit hair showing, flies buzzing around his head. “Who the hell are you?” the man asked. “Hey cutie,” said the ugly fat man, “my name is Cess!”
Reddit—Jokes
Everyone is trying to climb the ladder to success
submitted August 16, 2017 by earlsweaty
And at the top is a guy named Sess, having the time of his life.