“Men are like floor tiles” (joke)
"Men are like floor tiles. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "What do ceramic tile…
“How do you cook toilet paper?”/“Brown it on one side, then throw it in the pot.”
A real shitty cooking riddle is: Q: How do you cook toilet paper?A: Brown it on one side, then throw it in the pot. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.tasteless.jokes on June 2, 1996. Google…
“In Russia, they call it Nyetflix” (nyet + Netflix)
The entertainment service Netflix is sometimes said to have a Russian counterpart -- Nyetflix (nyet + Netflix). "Nyet" is Russian for "no," so the name means "no…
Misogymnast/Misogymnist or Mysogymnast/Mysogymnist (misogynist + gymnast)
"Misogymnast/misogymnist" or "mysogymnast/mysogymnist" (misogynist + gymnast) is a compound term that has been used in several puns. "Is a male gymnast that hates women a…
“I went to the zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage. A sign read: ‘Bread in captivity’”
"Bred in captivity" is sometimes punned as "bread in captivity." A joke was posted on Twitter by "milk" on August 21, 2011: "I went to the zoo and saw a piece…
Rules of Eighth Avenue (boxing at Madison Square Garden in Manhattan)
There have been several "Rules of Eighth Avenue." The third Madison Square Garden was located on Eighth Avenue, between 49th and 50th Street in Manhattan, from 1925 to 1968. It hosted…
“I just joined a gym for religious minorities—Jehovah’s Fitness”
"Jehovah's Fitness" is a gym pun of "Jehovah's Witness." "Is considering the PC ramifications of opeining a Christians only Gym called 'Jehovah's…
Rules of Eighth Avenue (in Manhattan)
There have been several "Rules of Eighth Avenue." The third Madison Square Garden was located on Eighth Avenue, between 49th and 50th Street in Manhattan, from 1925 to 1968. It hosted…
“A problem with drinking with people from work is they’re the ones I bitch about when I’m drunk”
"The problem with drinking with people from work is they’re the ones I bitch about when I’m drunk" is a one-line saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted…
“A problem with drinking with people from work is they’re the ones I bitch about when I’m drunk”
"The problem with drinking with people from work is they’re the ones I bitch about when I’m drunk" is a one-line saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted…
“You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”
"You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish" was the title of REO Speedwagon's double platinum-selling 1978 album. The title is from an old riddle: "Question:…
“How do you tune a fish?”/“With its scales.”
A tuna fish riddle is: Q: How do you tune a (tuna) fish?A: With its scales. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1916. “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish” is a related…
“Why do people think vanilla ice cream is plain? It’s vanilla-flavored”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- Shower ThoughtsWhy do people think vanilla ice cream is plain? It’s vanilla-flavoured. Plain would be just frozen cream.submitted October 1, 2017 by…
“To err is human, yet we must prove that we are not robots by entering captions flawlessly”
People often prove that they're human by entering "CAPTCHA" correctly on their computers, but many people find it hard to read and copy correctly. A saying was posted on Reddit --…
“If you scroll down far enough, we’re all on the front page”
Web developers seek to place things on the "front page," but sometimes that page scrolls down for a long, long while. "If you scroll down far enough, is *everything* on the Front…
“You can tell a lot about a person by what the order at a restaurant when someone else is paying”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- Shower ThoughtsYou can tell a lot about a person by what the order at a restaurant when someone else is paying.submitted September 30, 2017 by no_morelurking
“If cars had an ‘I’m sorry’ horn, there would probably be a lot less road rage”
People honk their car horns as a warning to other drivers. Some call it a "you stupid bastard horn" or a "fuck you horn." CraigBailey.net suggested a "sorry horn" on…
“If you Google something and can’t find it, there’s a 90% chance it doesn’t exist”
Many people believe that the search engine Google has the answer to just about everything. "If I google something and can't find it, it doesn't exist. Simple" was posted on…
“College bookstores are like the GameStop of textbooks”
Students trade-in computer games at GameStop; when they go to college, they trade-in textbooks at the college bookstore. "College bookstores are the only place worse than Gamestop for trade-in…
“How does a rich girl curse?”/“Oh teri Fendi.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Similar "rich girl" riddles include: “How do you tickle a rich girl?"/"Say ‘Gucci Gucci Gucci!‘““How does a rich girl…