“What do cows get when they do all their chores?”/“Mooney.”
A cow riddle is: Q: What do cows get when they do all their chores?A: Mooney. The "mooney" (moo + money) joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Klosi JokesCategory: Cow…
“That awkward moment when you don’t know what to do with your life when you leave the computer”
"That awkward moment when you don’t know what to do with your life when you leave the computer, so you get back on" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying…
Zoo School (Urban Assembly School for Wildlife Conservation)
The Urban Assembly School for Wildlife Conservation is a high school located at 2024 Mohegan Avenue in the Bronx. It's been called the "Zoo School" because of the school's…
“I’m in a pirate-themed band. We can’t stop writing hooks”
A pirate joke is: "I'm in a pirate-themed band. We can't stop writing hooks." The joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on September 27, 2017. Wikipedia: Captain HookCaptain…
“There is a special place in hell reserved for people that break the ‘10 items or less’ rule”
Shoppers get angry when people before them have more than 10 items in the "10 items or less" line. "Hey, bitch @ Walmart! There is a special place in HELL for people like you who get…
“I tried suing someone for stealing my basketball, but it got thrown out of court”
"I tried suing someone for stealing my basketball, but it got thrown out of court" -- a pun also on "basketball" court -- is a joke that was posted on Sickipedia and Twitter on…
“If you’re drunk at noon, you’re either living very well, or very poorly”
"If you're drunk at noon, you're either living very well, or very poorly" is a saying that was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on September 27, 2017. The saying became…
“Pie rates of Penn’s aunts” (pun)
The Pirates of Penzance; or, The Slave of Duty is a comic opera with music by Arthur Sullivan and libretto by W. S. Gilbert, opened at the Fifth Avenue Theatre in New York City on December 31,…
“You only have a gambling problem if you lose” (“It’s only a gambling problem if you’re losing”)
"It's only a gambling problem is you're losing" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "It's only a gambling problem if you lose...!" was posted on the…
“We are all feminine products”
"Not all of us are feminine products" -- probably meaning "douchebag" -- was posted on Twitter on May 7, 2011. "In one sense we are ALL feminine products....no?" was…
“Why do cows think cooks are mean?”/“They whip cream!”
A whip cream riddle is: Q: Why do cows think that cooks are mean?A: They whip cream! The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Klosi JokesCategory: Cow jokesDate Added: 11/10/2007Joke:…
“Pie rates of the Caribbean” (pun)
"Pie Rates of the Caribbean" -- a pun on the Pirates of the Caribbean film series -- has been printed on many images. "Pie rates of the Caribbean. Rubbish. No pies" was posted…
“Dentists are janitors for mouths”
"A dentist is just a janitor for someone's mouth" was posted on Twitter on March 29, 2016. "A dentist is just like a janitor for your mouth" was posted on Reddit -- Shower…
“It’s only a gambling addiction if you keep losing. Otherwise, it’s a high paying career”
What defines a gambling addiction? "'It's not a gambling addiction if you're winning'-Devon McGurk" was posted on Twitter on April 6, 2010. "Is it still a…
“Pie rates of Penn’s aunts” (pun)
The Pirates of Penzance; or, The Slave of Duty is a comic opera with music by Arthur Sullivan and libretto by W. S. Gilbert, opened at the Fifth Avenue Theatre in New York City on December 31,…
“Slim Jims are just meat flavored Laffy Taffy”
"Slim Jim" beef jerky snacks has been compared to "Laffy Taffy" taffy snacks. "He said 'Slim Jim's are the Laffy Taffy of meat" the guy is crazy" was…
“Mathematics is 90% common sense, the other half is intelligence”
"Mathematics is 90% common sense, the other half is intelligence" is a jocular math saying. The saying was posted on Twitter on February 3, 2012. “Baseball is ninety percent mental, and…
“I started a cold air balloon business, but I’m having trouble getting it off the ground”
Start-up businesses try to get "off the ground," but usually not literally. A joke was posted on AnimalJokes.co.uk in 2003: "Did you hear about the pig who tried to start a hot-air…
“Bricks are domesticated rocks”
Some homes are made of brick, so does that mean that brick is domesticated? "A brick is a domesticated rock" was posted on Twitter by Julie Resigned on November 3, 2013. "Bricks are…
Red Double Cross; Red Double Crossed (Red Cross + double-cross)
The Red Cross (the American Red Cross in the United States) provides emergency assistance and disaster relief, but many people state that Red Cross donations do not reach disaster victims.…