“What’s the most popular drink ordered at bars?”/“One more.”
"'One more' is the most popular drink I sell" was posted on Twitter on December 1, 2011. "My most popular drink order is 'I'll have another'" was posted…
“What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?”/“A wide scream TV.”
A Halloween riddle about wide-screen television is: Q: What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?A: A wide scream TV. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1998. Google Books3650…
“What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe?”/“A canoe tips.”
An ethnic stereotype is that Jewish people are stingy with money. A joke is: Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?A: A canoe tips. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“A mugger says to a university student, ‘Your money or your life!’” (joke)
"'Your money or your life!' 'Haha! Joke's on you, I don't have either of those things'" is a joke about an attempted robbery that was posted on Twitter on…
“Why don’t skeletons play music in church?”/“They have no organs.”
A skeleton riddle is: Q: Why don't skeletons play music in church?A: They have no organs. The popular Halloween riddle has been cited in print since at least 1992. The joke was used in the…
“Acupuncture is a jab well done”
Successful acupuncture has been called "a jab well done" (a pun on "a job well done"). "Definition of acupuncture: A jab well done" was published in American…
“Technically, all national anthems are country music”
A national anthem is, technically, "country" music. "No matter the musical style, a nation's national anthem is 'country music' Daily Jumble in 1:14, score 1115"…
“I got invited by a salad to his house. He wouldn’t lettuce leaf!”
"Lettuce leaf" sounds like "let us leave." "I remember a time my friends and I got trapped in a garden...the owners wouldn't lettuce leaf" was posted on Twitter…
“What superhero do you want on your baseball team?”/“Batman.”
A baseball riddle is: Q: What superhero do you want on your baseball team?A: Batman. "Which superhero do baseball players like the best? Batman" was published in a 1996 book. Wikipedia:…
“The early bird catches the worm, but the early worm gets eaten”
"The early bird catches the worm" is a proverb dating from at least the 17th century; it means that whoever does something first has the best chance of success. However, what about the…
“The airlines have become so cash-strapped, they charged me for my emotional baggage”
A popular airlines joke is that they would charge for "emotional baggage" if they could. "Airlines to charge extra for emotional baggage..." was posted on Twitter on January 18,…
“A fingerprint sensor on your phone is a one-digit password”
Passwords are often four, six or eight digits long. A "digit" pun was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on October 29, 2017: "A fingerprint sensor on your phone is a one-digit…
“If your front door has a mail slot, then you live in a mailbox”
Some houses don't have a mailbox -- just a mail slot in the front door. "If your front door has a mail slot, then you live in a mailbox" was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on…
“What do you call a witch’s garage?”/“A broom closet.”
A witch riddle is: Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?A: A broom closet. The popular Halloween riddle was posted on the newsgroup soc.culture.filipino on October 22, 1996. Google Groups:…
“Why is there a thing called a grapefruit, when there’s a fruit called a grape?”
"Why is the grapefruit called a grapefruit? I mean, there is already a fruit called a grape. Doesn’t make a lick of sense" was asked on Twitter on April 28, 2009. "Why is it called…
“What kind of company is a 24-hour hamburger joint?”/“Fry-by-night.”
A shady business is a "fly-by-night." Is a shady restaurant business a "fry-by-night"? A pun is: Q: What kind of company is a 24-hour hamburger joint?A: Fry-by-night. The joke…
“I’ve been exercising using dictionaries, and I’m finally starting to see some definition”
People work out to "see some definition," such as muscles coming out from what used to be fat. "Been bench pressing dictionaries, starting to see some definition in my arms..."…
“What do you call haunted yogurt?”/“Paranormal Activia.”
Activia is a brand of yogurt; the name sounds like "activity." "Would it be gauche to bring the script for my "Paranormal Activia" skit to snl tonight? It's like…
Ditcher, Quick & Hyde (fictitious divorce law firm)
"Dewey, Cheatham & Howe" is a jocular fictitious law/accounting/consulting firm name. "Ditcher, Quick & Hyde" is a jocular fictitious divorce law firm name.…
“I, for one, like Roman numerals”
"I, for one, like Roman numerals" -- "I'" is the Roman numeral for "one" -- is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…