“I once had a job drilling holes. It was really boring”
"I once had a job drilling holes in wood. It was really boring" was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on May 18, 1998. The pun plays on the two meanings of "boring."…
“If you’re here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue”
A joke about yodeling was posted on Twitter by MꙬse Allain on April 18, 2016: "If you're here for the yodelling lesson, please form an orderly queue (orderly orderly orderly…
“You’d think the self-checkout lanes would have more mirrors”
Many stores have "self-checkout" lines, but they're not to check out one's self. A joke was posted on Twitter by Cameron on May 2, 2012: "You would think the self checkout…
“Watch repairmen always get to work on time”
Who always gets to work on time? A pun was posted on Twitter on June 8, 2011: "Watch repairmen always get to work on time." TwitterIB @MagnumXIIRT @rodney_at_large: Watch repairmen…
“I went fishing today with my two friends, Rod and Annette”
Who's the best couple to go fishing with? Rod and Annette (a net), of course! "What do you call a Genestealer and a Sister of Battle fishing? Rod and Annette" was posted on the…
“Why do midgets make bad parents?”/“Because they struggle to put food on the table.”
The struggle to "put food on the table" usually refers to the struggle to make enough money to afford to buy food -- and not physically putting food on the table. A riddle on the…
“I never use body butter. I don’t want to make myself irresistible to cannibals”
There's a difference between dairy butter (a food product) and body butter (a skin product), but a joke is: "I never use body butter. I don't want to make myself irresistible to…
“Watch repairmen always get to work on time”
Who always gets to work on time? A pun was posted on Twitter on June 8, 2011: "Watch repairmen always get to work on time." TwitterIB @MagnumXIIRT @rodney_at_large: Watch repairmen…
“I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place”
"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place" is a popular parking joke from American stand-up comedian Steven Wright. Wright said on his…
“A parking ticket officer is simply a hall monitor who reached full potential”
School hall monitors are not held in high esteem by students, and parking ticket officers aren't held in high esteem by drivers. Anjeanette Carter posted on Twitter on October 12, 2011:…
“A parking ticket officer is simply a hall monitor who reached full potential”
School hall monitors are not held in high esteem by students, and parking ticket officers aren't held in high esteem by drivers. Anjeanette Carter posted on Twitter on October 12, 2011:…
“A little birdie told me my golf skills are improving”
"A little birdie told me my golf skills are improving" is a pun on the two meanings of "birdie." The joke was posted on Twitter on May 12, 2011. Wiktionary: birdieNounbirdie…
“I work as a waiter and, no, the pay isn’t great, but I put food on the table”
"I work as a waiter and, no, the pay isn’t great, but I put food on the table" is a popular joke about the job of a waiter. "I work as a waiter. The pay isn't great but I put…
“Big Apple” explained in a movie (Barney’s Version film, 2010)
The origin of "Big Apple" was explained in the 2010 Canadian comedy-drama film Barney's Version, with a screenplay by Michael Konyves. This dialogue does not appear in the novel…
“Cooking is like golf. You slice it, chip it, and put it on some greens”
"Cooking is like golf. You slice it, chip it, and put it on some greens" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "'Cooking Is Like Golf' Novelty Chef…
“A Smurf walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Smurf version is: "A Smurf walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why so…
“Big Apple” answer on “Final Jeopardy!” (2009)
The etymology of "Big Apple" was used on the television game show Jeopardy! as a "Final Jeopardy!" question on July 1, 2009. The answer:"A 19th century gambling term…
“Cooking is like golf. You slice it, chip it, and put it on some greens”
"Cooking is like golf. You slice it, chip it, and put it on some greens" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "'Cooking Is Like Golf' Novelty Chef…
“If snow is made of water and water has no calories, how come snowmen are fat?”
"If snow is made of water and water has no calories, how come snowmen are fat?" is a jocular winter question. The one-liner was posted on Twitter by FunnyOneLiners on December 13,…
“No matter how loud car alarms are, cars never seem to wake up”
A car alarm serves a different purpose than an alarm clock, but there is a one-line saying: "No matter how loud car alarms are, cars never seem to wake up." The joke was posted on Twitter…