“My mom always tells me I’m special, but I can’t figure out who this Ed guy is!”
"Special ed" means "special education," not a "special" guy named "Ed." "My friends call me special, but i cant figure out who this ed guy is!!!!"…
“Eating breakfast in front of the TV at the same time every day turns the meal into a serial”
Several puns involve the homophones "cereal" and "serial." A joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on November 16, 2017: “Eating breakfast in front of the TV at the…
“Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble”
"Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble" is a pun that has been printed on several images. "Alkynes" sounds like "all kinds."…
“I live in a two-story house” (marriage/divorce joke)
A "story" is a floor of a building, but there are several puns on another meaning of the word. A marriage joke was published on the newsgroup rec.humor on APril 10, 1993: A man is…
“How did the math teacher kill himself?”/“He used a hypotenuse.”
There isn't a "noose" in "hypotenuse," but this math riddle was posted on Twitter on May 13, 2013: Q: How did the math professor kill himself?A: He used a hypotenuse. A…
“Pinterest is like fantasy football for girls”
Pinterest is an information-sharing website that quickly became popular with women. "I think Pinterest is to @emilymrich what Fantasy Football is to me. I'm just not sure how you win at…
“Ben and Jerry’s ice cream is less used as dessert than it is as an anti-depressant”
Ben & Jerry's ice cream -- a very richly flavored, premium ice cream -- is often said to be an anti-depressant, and this has some chemical basis. Ghrelin, called the "hunger…
“Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving?”/“A turkey because it is always stuffed.”
A Thanksgiving riddle is: Q: Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? (or, "Who is never hungry on Thanksgiving?")A: A turkey because it is always stuffed. The joke has been cited in print…
“Does working for UPS make you a professional boxer?”
A joke about the term "professional boxer" is that it applies to someone who works at UPS (United Parcel Service). "Professional boxer...at the UPS store" was posted on Twitter…
“People give their lives just so that a few fat cats can make a killing”
The Sicilian American mobster Sam Giancana (1908-1975), according to the documentary JFK to 9/11: Everything Is a Rich Man's Trick (2014), said: "People give their lives just so that a…
“What did the turkey say to the computer?”/“Google, google!”
Turkeys say "gobble, gobble," but a modern Thanksgiving riddle is: Q: What did the turkey say to the computer?A: Google, google! The joke was printed in the newspaper comic The Family…
“The high school music teacher told his students to read band books”
"Banned books" is sometimes punned as "band books." "Did John Philip Sousa read band books? #bannedbooks" was posted on Twitter on September 24, 2012. "The high…
“Does working for UPS make you a professional boxer?”
A joke about the term "professional boxer" is that it applies to someone who works at UPS (United Parcel Service). "Professional boxer...at the UPS store" was posted on Twitter…
“Dear Dairy: Today I failed another spelling test”
A spelling joke was posted on Twitter on February 23, 2014: "Dear dairy, I failed another spelling test today." "Dairy" is a common misspelling for "diary." "Dear…
“The high school music teacher told his students to read band books”
"Banned books" is sometimes punned as "band books." "Did John Philip Sousa read band books? #bannedbooks" was posted on Twitter on September 24, 2012. "The high…
Sodom by the Sea (Coney Island)
Coney Island has sometimes been called "Sodom by the Sea," in reference to the vices of the Biblical city of Sodom. The headline for the New York (NY) Times on October 15, 1893 was:…
Snake Hill Road (Richmond Hill Road, Staten Island)
A part of Richmond Hill Road (from LaTourette Golf Course to Arthur Kill Road and Historic Richmond Town) in Staten Island has been called "Snake Hill Road." The road has dangerous,…
“A calzone is the socially acceptable way for someone to eat a whole pizza”
A calzone has been called a folded pizza. "Why is it that if you eat a whole pizza you are criticized but if you eat a calzone, not s'much?" was posted on Twitter on August 14, 2009.…
“My brain has too many tabs open”
"My brain has too many tabs open" -- that is, a person (like a computer) is too busy with too much work -- is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "I feel…
“Vaccines cause adults” (pro-vaccination slogan)
"Vaccines cause adults" is a pro-vaccination slogan that has been printed on many images. The slogan is a response to the anti-vaccination slogan of "Vaccines cause autism."…