“Writing a daily column is like being married to a nymphomaniac”
"Writing a daily column is like being married to a nymphomaniac," newspaper columnists often claim. "Every time you think you're through, you have to do it again." The…
Poligarchy (political + oligarchy); Poligarch
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: OligarchyOligarchy (from Greek ὀλιγαρχία (oligarkhía); from ὀλίγος (olígos), meaning 'few', and ἄρχω (arkho), meaning 'to…
“Heroes are made by the paths they choose, not the powers they are graced with”
"Heroes are made by the paths they choose, not the powers they are graced with" is a popular saying on Memorial Day and Veterans Day. It was printed in the novel Everneath (2012) by Brodi…
“A spice thief had his own spices stolen. I guess you could say he had it cumin”
"Cumin" is sometimes punned as "coming." Several punsters have sang "He had it cumin!" instead of "He had it coming!" from the song "Cell Block…
“Open Mike Night sounded fun, but then we got to the morgue”
"Open mic" (or "open mike") means that an entertainment venue (such as a nightclub or a comedy club) has an "open microphone" where people can sign up to perform. It…
Department of Exaggeration (Department of Education nickname)
American journalist Wayne Barrett (1945-2017), a columnist for The Village Voice, gave the New York City Department of Education a nickname of "Department of Exaggeration" in three 2009…
“The only thing flat-earthers fear is sphere itself”
"Flat Earth Society motto: 'We have nothing to sphere but sphere itself.'" was posted on Twitter on April 19, 2011. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" is…
Martha or Martha Washington Bridge (lower level of George Washington Bridge)
The George Washington Bridge connects New York City to New Jersey and was opened in 1931. A second (lower) level of the bridge was opened in 1962. The upper level is sometimes called the…
May Take Awhile (Metropolitan Transportation Authority or MTA nickname)
The Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) is a New York State agency that (among other duties) operates New York City's subways and buses. The MTA has been nicknamed "May Take…
“Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself”
"Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself" is an observation that was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on December 28, 2014. "The airplane does…
“A university is a city in outer space”
The word "university" sounds like "universe city." A pun was posted on the website Pun of the Day by Joseph Leff of Brooklyn, New York, on November 9, 2017: "A university…
“Why is too much alcohol bad for you?”/“Because that would be too whiskey.”
"Whiskey" sounds like "risky." "So a friend told me, we should have drinks on the train tracks....I told them that would be too whiskey!" was posted on Twitter on…
“Grilled cheese with tomato soup is basically deconstructed pizza”
"Deconstructed pizza- creamy tomato soup with mozzarella and basil grilled cheese sandwiches" was posted on Twitter on September 30, 2012. The "grilled cheese with tomato soup"…
“What do you call a matador who gets trampled? A dor mat”
A pun on the term "matador" (from the sport of bullfighting) was posted on the website PunGents.com on October 29, 2017: "What do you call a matador who gets trampled? A dor…
“What is a classical musician’s favorite Chinese food?”/“Bach Choy.”
The Chinese vegetable "bok choy" has nothing to do with German composer Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750), but there have been several puns. "If you're making a Faure to the…
“‘Righty tighty, lefty loosey’ isn’t a statement about females and politics”
"Righty tighty, lefty loosey" is a popular meme about how to screw or unscrew objects. Some have used "righty tighty" to describe politically conservative people and "lefty…
“A truck full of Vicks VapoRub overturned. Police are saying there will be no congestion for 24hrs.”
A joke about traffic congestion has been cited in print since at least 2008 and has been popular in the United Kingdom and the United States: "A lorry (truck -- ed.) loaded with Vicks VapoRub…
“You know you’re at a gay barbecue when the wieners taste like shit”
A hot dog riddle (NSFW) is: Q: How do you known you're at a gay barbecue?A: The hot dogs taste like shit. The joke is about "hot dogs" (or "wieners") resembling male…
“Righty tighty, lefty loosey” (screw/unscrew)
"Righty tighty, lefty loosey" is a popular meme for how to screw and unscrew (nuts, screws, jars, et al.). "Right tight, left loose" was printed in The Western Mail (Perth,…
“Candy corn is just corn turned into corn syrup then back into corn”
Candy corn is made primarily from sugar and corn syrup. "Candy corn is the only truth in the world. High fructose corn syrup formed BACK into corn" was posted on Twitter on October 8,…