"Condoms should be used on every conceivable…

“Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion” is a joke that was said by Irish comedian Spike Milligan (1918-2002) on The Last Goon Show of All on October 5, 1972. “Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion” appears to be an American version and was posted on the newsgroup alt.callahans on August 5, 2000.

The one-line saying has been printed on many images.

Wikiquote: Spike Milligan
Terence Alan Milligan, KBE (16 April 1918 – 27 February 2002), known as Spike Milligan, was an Irish writer, artist, musician, humanitarian, comedian and poet. He played the piano, trumpet, saxophone, and guitar. While producing a prodigous number of books, he remains most famous as the creator, principal writer and performing member of The Goon Show.
(...)
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
. The Last Goon Show of All (5 October 1972)

18 January 1982, Philadelphia (PA) Inquirer, “Great graffiti!” by W. Speers, pg. D1, col. 1:
Contraceptives should be used at every conceivable occasion.

Google Books
1,911 Best Things Anybody Ever Said
Selected and edited by Robert Byrne
New York, NY: Fawcett Books
1988
Pg. 145:
52
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
From The Last Goon Show of All

27 March 1991, The Irish Times (Dublin, Ireland), “Letters to the Editor,” pg. 13, col. 4:
Sir,—The oft-quoted Spike Milligan opines that “contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion”. I have to agree. Yours, etc.,
BRIAN O’RIORDAN
12 Bishopscourt Lawn,
Wilton, Cork.

Google Groups: alt.callahans
“Puns of the Weak” 8/4/00
Stan Kegel
8/5/00
(...)
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. (Ed Hexter)

Google Groups: alt.humor.puns
“Puns of the Weak” 10/6/00
Stan Kegel
10/7/00
(...)
Attention college students: Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. (Arno Martens)

11 March 2002, Newsweek, “Periscope,” pg. 4:
Prince Charles lamented last week on the death of his friend, the 83-year-old Irish comic Spike Milligan. Whether teaming up with his zany partners in “The Goon Show” in the 1950s, or unleashing snippets of insanity in his novels, Milligan was renowned for his sometimes sly, not infrequently wacky and always deftly irreverent one-liners. His pal the prince was a “groveling little bastard.” (...) Contraception: “Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.”

27 March 2002, Indianapolis (IN) Star, :Let it out,” pg. E5:
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Google Books
Oxford Dictionary of Medical Quotations
By Peter McDonald
New York, NY: Oxford University Press
2004
Pg. 69, col. 2:
Spike Milligan 1918–2002
British comedian and writer
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
The Last Goon Show of All

Twitter
Carla Ciurlizza‏
@cciurlizza
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
5:12 PM - 14 May 2007

Google Books
Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations (Fifth Edition)
Edited by Gyles Brandreth
New York, NY: Oxford University Press
2013
Pg. 282:
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Spike Milligan 1918–2002 Irish comedian:
The Last Goon Show of All (1972)

Reddit—Oneliners
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
submitted November 24, 2017 by madazzahatter