“What do you call a depressed cow?”/“An emoo.”
A cow riddle is: Q: What do you call a depressed cow?A: An emoo. "Emoo" is a pun on "moo" and "emo," as well as possibly "emu." The joke was posted on…
“I watched a film where a guy poured meat juices over a nonfiction book. It’s baste on a true story”
Many dramatic works are "based on a true story." If that story involves food, maybe it's "baste on a true story"? The pun was printed in the book Ridiculous Riddles (2003)…
“2 stages of my life: I should eat & I shouldn’t have eaten that much”
Two stages of thinking about food defines one's life, at least according to a post on Twitter by Sarcasm Society on June 29, 2016: "2 stages of my life :1) I should eat.2) I…
“What do cheap hotels and skinny jeans have in common?”/“No ballroom.”
A riddle about tight pants is: Q: What do cheap hotels and skinny jeans have in common?A: No ballroom. The "no ballroom" (no crotch space for a man's balls) joke has been cited in…
“What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?”/“Find the nearest skyscraper.”
Skyscrapers don't actually reach the clouds, but they are still very tall buildings. A riddle has been printed on an image: Q: What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?A: Find the nearest…
“A smart ass can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is”
A definition of a "smartass" was given by Bronx-born comedian Joey Bishop in 1975: "That's someone who, blindfolded and naked, can sit on a plate of ice-cream and tell you what…
“Where do suicide bombers go when they die?”/“Everywhere.”
A riddle about suicide bombers has been printed on many images: Q: Where do suicide bombers go when they die?A: Everywhere. The riddle was posted on Twitter on June 2, 2013, and on Reddit -- Jokes…
“What do cats read in the morning?”/“Mewspapers.”
A cat riddle is: Q: What do cats read in the morning?A: Mewspapers. The newspaper joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. Google BooksThe Kids' Cat BookBy Laima Dingwall and Annabel…
“What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?”/“It’s all in the grip.”
A saxophone riddle is: Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?A: It’s all in the grip. That is, there is no difference musically. The saxophone joke was posted on the…
“Cinnamon is really just delicious sawdust”
Cinnamon is made from the bark of Cinnamomum trees. Cinnamon powder has been compared to sawdust. "Ground cinnamon is sawdust. But there is good sawdust and bad sawdust," a Chicago (IL)…
“Poorly constructed burritos get a bad wrap”
A burrito is a wrap. "The hearty little burrito is getting a bad wrap" -- a pun on "bad rap" -- was printed in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on March 4, 1998. "Broken burritos…
“What do you call a line dancer on a cruise?”/“An ocean liner.”
A line dancer riddle is: Q: What do you call a line dancer on a cruise?A: An ocean liner. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. SL-T.netCategory: Dance jokesDate Added:…
“James Joyce walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version about Irish author James Joyce (1882-1941) is: "James Joyce walks into a…
“How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?”/“Never enough.”
A lawyer joke is: Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?A: Never enough. The lawyer joke has been cited in print since at least 1989. Google Groups: rec.humorLife 5.HHenry Cate…
“Teacher: Why are you late for class?” (school joke)
A school joke has been printed on several images: TEACHER: Tell the class why you're late.STUDENT: Someone told me to go to hell.STUDENT: Couldn't find it at first.STUDENT: But now…
“When nudists are nervous about giving a speech, do they imagine everyone with their clothes on?”
"Imagine the audience naked" is a saying about performing or giving a speech. Is the opposite true? "If you ever have to give a speech to a group of nudists and you think you’ll…
“Well, well, well. Welcome to stutter class”
"Well, well, well" is a common interjection. A joke was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia Official on June 23, 2013: "Well, well, well... Welcome to stutter class. #sickipedia"…
“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace”
"Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles. It takes away today's peace" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on…
“Is it okay to bring marijuana brownies to pot luck dinner?”
A "pot luck" or "potluck" dinner is one where each guest brings a dish. The dish usually does not contain "pot" (marijuana). "They had a 'pot luck'…
“We had a candlelit dinner last night. Everything was extremely under-cooked”
A "candlelit dinner" usually has candles on the dinner table. The meal is usually not cooked with candles, but that's a joke that has been credited to English comedian Tim Vine. Vine…