“On Saturdays we wear pajamas”
"On Saturdays we wear pajamas" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. This is in contrast to the work week, when many people wear suits. "On saturdays we wear…
“Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with Windows”
"Failure is not an option. It comes bundles with Windows" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft…
“Your glass is empty. Would you like another?”/“Why would I want two empty glasses?”
A bar joke is: BARTENDER: I see that your glass is empty. Would you like another?BAR CUSTOMER: Why would I want two empty glasses? The joke was posted on Twitter on September 29, 2010, and went…
“This coffee is broken! I’m still tired!”
"This coffee is broken! I'm still tired!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Didn't sleep very well. Currently on my third cup of coffee. I believe…
“Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in”
"Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been credited to New York Knicks…
“Where do ants go to eat?”/“At a restaurant.”
An ant riddle is: Q: Where do ants go to eat?A: At a restaurant. The "restaur-ant" pun has been cited in print since at least 2006. Google Groups: Palace of Adult Humorant…
“What musical instrument goes with cheese?”/“Picklelo.”
A piccolo (a musical instrument) doesn't contain any pickles, but there's a riddle: Q: What musical instrument goes with cheese?A: Picklelo. The piccolo pickle pun -- with cheese -- has…
“When doesn’t a telephone work underwater?”/“When it’s wringing wet.”
Cell phones often don't work when they get wet. A telephone riddle is: Q: When doesn't a telephone work underwater?A: When it's wringing wet. The…
“Eagles don’t take flight lessons from chickens”
"Eagles don't take flight lessons from chickens" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Eagles DO NOT Take Flight Lessons From Chickens" was posted…
“Gym hair, don’t care”
"Gym hair, don't care" is a jocular gym saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that one's "gym hair" might be all over the place, but the…
“If you somehow choke to death on an ice cube, nobody would know how you died”
"Has anyone ever choked to death on an ice cube? If so, did it confuse the fuck out of the coroner?" was asked on Reddit -- AskReddit on December 20, 2010. "Is it possible to die…
“Tremendously Grateful It’s Friday” (TGIF)
"TGIF" usually stands for "Thank God It's Friday," but sometimes -- perhaps to remove "God" from the saying -- it stands for "Tremendously Grateful It's…
“What musical instrument goes with cheese?”/“Picklelo.”
A piccolo (a musical instrument) doesn't contain any pickles, but there's a riddle: Q: What musical instrument goes with cheese?A: Picklelo. The piccolo pickle pun -- with cheese -- has…
“The sign said, ‘Employees must wash hands.’ I waited, but I finally washed them myself”
"Employees Must Wash Hands" is a sign posted in many restaurant bathrooms. A joke was printed in New York magazine on June 12, 1989: "IN THE LADIES' ROOM OF A Greenwich Village…
“These so-called speed bumps are a joke. If anything, they slow you down”
A "speed bump" is to slow a vehicle's speed, not give give a "bump" to increase a vehicle's speed. A joke was printed in Viz Magazine (UK) in 1999: "These…
“Which ghost ate too much porridge?”/“Ghouldilocks.”
The story of "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" is often given the pun "Ghouldilocks" (ghoul + Goldilocks) in Halloween jokes. A riddle has been cited in print since at least 2001…
Washington, DC: District of Corruption (nickname)
The United States capital of Washington, District of Columbia ("DC"), has been nicknamed the "District of Corruption" since at least 1951. The "District of Corruption"…
Washington, DC: District of Confusion (nickname)
The United States capital of Washington, District of Columbia ("DC"), has been nicknamed the "District of Confusion" since at least 1943. The "District of Confusion"…
Washington, DC: “Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm”
William Manchester's book, Portrait of a President: John F. Kennedy in profile (1962), includes a famous line: "'Washington,' John Kennedy once said lightly, 'is a city of…
Washington, DC: Capitol Hill (nickname)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Capitol Hill, Washington, D.C.Capitol Hill, aside from being a metonym for the United States Congress, is the largest historic residential neighborhood in…