“Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar”
"Salt and sugar look the same. Be careful who you trust" (or "Don't/Never trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar") is a saying that has been printed on many…
“The 13th Amendment makes it illegal to buy people. Apparently, it doesn’t apply to congressmen”
The Thirteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution (ratified in 1865) abolished slavery and involuntary servitude. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on December 7, 2017: "The 13th Amendment…
“Salt and sugar look the same. Be careful who you trust”
"Salt and sugar look the same. Be careful who you trust" (or "Don't/Never trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar") is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Why don’t apples smile when you go bobbing?”/“Because they’re crab apples.”
An apple riddle is: Q: Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing?A: Because they're crab apples. The joke is popular around Halloween, when apple bobbing traditionally occurs. The joke…
“I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.”/“You’re the lawyer.”/“Where’s my present?”
A lawyer joke was posted on Twitter by Marf on December 23, 2016: [Interview room]Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer presentCop: You ARE the lawyerMe: So where's my present?!…
“My life. My choices. My mistakes. My lessons. Not your business”
"My life. My choices. My mistakes. My lessons. Not your business" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "It's my life, my choices, my mistakes"…
“Since this year they launched the iPhone 8/X, we’ll probably get to see 9/11 next year”
Apple, Inc. released the iPhone 8 and 8 Plus in 2017, and there have been references to 9/11 (the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon). "Can’t wait for…
“I am transfinancial. I’m a rich man trapped in a poor man’s body”
An explanation of the term "transfinancial" (transsexual + financial) has been printed on several images. "Let me introduce myself. I'm transfinancial, I'm a rich man…
“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it”
"Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is…
“There was a fire at my local dollar store. Damage is estimated to be in the tens of dollars”
A joke about a dollar store is that the items in the store aren't worth much, unlike a jewelry store. "Fark headline: 'Nine-year old boy angry with his mother burns a Dollar Store to…
“How does a hotel room taste?”/“Suite.”
A hotel room "suite" is sometimes given the pun "sweet." The Disney Channel sitcom The Suite Life of Zack & Cody (2005-2008) punned on the two words "suite" and…
“What do you call Wikipedia for babies?”/“Wikipedialyte.”
"Wikipedialyte" (Wikipedia + Pedialyte) doesn't exist, but there are jokes. "Then u could give them wikipedialyte when they're sick :D RT @camoozle: I want to have…
“What do cat actors say on stage?”/“Tabby or not tabby!”
A cat riddle is: Q: What do cat actors say on stageA: "Tabby or not tabby!" This joke -- a parody of the "To be, or not to be" line from William Shakespeare's Hamlet -- has…
“Inflation is when you pay $10 for the $5 haircut you used to get for $2 when you had hair”
Franklin P. Jones (1908-1980), a public relations executive and humorist, published this jocular explanation of inflation in Quote magazine in 1974: "It's inflation when you have to pay…
“I had my parking validated—which was nice because I’d been practicing for so long”
"Parking validation" usually refers to the parking slip that one gets when on entering a car park. A person can patronize a local business (such as going to a conference at hotel) and get…
“Table’s not ready. Can you wait?”/“OK.”/“Great! Take these plates to table six, then.”
A restaurant joke -- where "waiting" can mean two different things -- was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia_Feed on March 24, 2012: In a restaurant "Hi. is my table…
“Sometimes I use big words I don’t understand so I can sound more photosynthesis”
"Sometimes I use big words I don't understand so I can sound more photosynthesis" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Origin is unknown. "I always use big…
“I’m an artist for the government. I draw unemployment”
"I'm an artist. I draw unemployment" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1986 and 1989. "Now he's an artist for the state. He draws unemployment" was…
“I’m an artist. I draw unemployment”
"I'm an artist. I draw unemployment" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1986 and 1989. "Now he's an artist for the state. He draws unemployment" was…
“Netflix is so much better than going out and pretending to like people”
"Netflix is so much better than going out and pretending to like people" is a jocular saying about watching Netflix entertainment at home that has been printed on several images.…