“Where have you been?”/“Good employees are hard to find.”
"Good employees are hard to find" usually means that they are hard to acquire, not that they play hide-and-seek. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 19, 2020: "My boss…
“Windows is for those who don’t want to know why their computer doesn’t work”
An operating system joke was posted on the newsgroup de.comm.infosystems.www.servers by Nikolaus Rath on March 5, 2001: "Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer…
“The world does not owe you anything. You are not a loan”
"You are not a loan" (a pun on "you are not alone") was painted on a business sign and printed in the Sun Sentinel (Fort Lauderdale, FL) on May 24, 1998. "You are not a…
“Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works”
An operating system joke was posted on the newsgroup de.comm.infosystems.www.servers by Nikolaus Rath on March 5, 2001: "Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer…
“Macs are for those who don’t want to know why their computer works”
An operating system joke was posted on the newsgroup de.comm.infosystems.www.servers by Nikolaus Rath on March 5, 2001: "Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer…
“You are not a loan”
"You are not a loan" (a pun on "you are not alone") was painted on a business sign and printed in the Sun Sentinel (Fort Lauderdale, FL) on May 24, 1998. "You are not a…
“DOS is for those who want to know why their computer doesn’t work”
An operating system joke was posted on the newsgroup de.comm.infosystems.www.servers by Nikolaus Rath on March 5, 2001: "Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer…
“Always ask for a receipt because you never know when you’ll need an alibi”
Many people ask for a receipt for tax purposes. A receipt is also useful to show a spouse where one has been. "Always ask for a receipt, you never know when you may need an alibi" was…
“Adding ‘showed up to work during the apocalypse’ to my résumé”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic sent many people home to quarantines, but many essential workers stayed on the job. "I'm adding 'showed up for/to work during the apocalypse'…
“Always ask for a receipt. You may need an alibi”
Many people ask for a receipt for tax purposes. A receipt is also useful to show a spouse where one has been. "Always ask for a receipt, you never know when you may need an alibi" was…
“I’m done being a people pleaser, if everyone’s OK with that”
A "people-pleaser" joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 17, 2020: "I’m done being a people pleaser. If everyone’s ok with that." "I’m done being a people…
“The first rule of gun safety is to never let the government take your guns”
"The first rule of gun safety is to never let the government take your guns" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "The first rule of firearm safety is to never…
Szechwan Fire (pun on “set you on fire”)
Sichuan/Szechuan/Szechwan cuisine can be spicy. "Szechuan" can sound like "set you on." Many restaurants and restaurant dishes/sauces have been named…
“Go easy on the spicy Chinese food. It’ll practically Szechuan fire”
Sichuan/Szechuan/Szechwan cuisine can be spicy. "Szechuan" can sound like "set you on." Many restaurants and restaurant dishes/sauces have been named…
“If you divide 2020 by 5 you get 404, so basically this entire year is an error message”
The year 2020 had many hardships, such as the coronavirus pandemic. However, a popular joke began right at the start of the year. "If you divide 2020 by 5 you get 404, so basically this entire…
“The first rule of firearm safety is to never let the government take your guns”
"The first rule of gun safety is to never let the government take your guns" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "The first rule of firearm safety is to never…
Szechuan Fire (pun on “set you on fire”)
Sichuan/Szechuan/Szechwan cuisine can be spicy. "Szechuan" can sound like "set you on." Many restaurants and restaurant dishes/sauces have been named…
“Why are airplanes so hard to see?”/“Because they’re in disguise.”
"Disguise" can sound like "de skies" (the skies). A pun is: Q: Why are airplanes so hard to see?A: Because they're in disguise. The joke was posted on Twitter by…
“First rule of gun safety: Never let the government take your guns”
"The first rule of gun safety is to never let the government take your guns" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "The first rule of firearm safety is to never…
Sichuan Fire (pun on “set you on fire”)
Sichuan/Szechuan/Szechwan cuisine can be spicy. "Szechuan" can sound like "set you on." Many restaurants and restaurant dishes/sauces have been named…