“It’s so cold out, I just saw a woman in 2 pairs of pajamas at Walmart”
Many people shop at Walmart (a department store chain) wearing pajamas. "It's so cold that Walmart has recommended customers wear multiple layers of pajamas today" is a jocular…
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“Breaking News: With the current extreme cold temperatures, all Walmart customers are urged to wear two pairs of pajamas”
Many people shop at Walmart (a department store chain) wearing pajamas. "It's so cold that Walmart has recommended customers wear multiple layers of pajamas today" is a jocular…
“The day before a big snowstorm kind of feels like evil Christmas Eve”
The day before a big snowstorm is full of dreadful anticipation, and this is usually not pleasant. This was posted on X/Twitter by lacey ⸆⸉ 🐍 on January 24, 2026, and it received over 30,000…
“Life Hack: If you have a frownie, eat a brownie”
Eating brownies makes many people happy, and takes away the frowns (or "frownies"). "a brownie a day keeps the frownies away" -- similar to the proverb "an apple a day…
“If you have a frownie, eat a brownie”
Eating brownies makes many people happy, and takes away the frowns (or "frownies"). "a brownie a day keeps the frownies away" -- similar to the proverb "an apple a day…
“A brownie a day keeps the frownies away”
Eating brownies makes many people happy, and takes away the frowns (or "frownies"). "a brownie a day keeps the frownies away" -- similar to the proverb "an apple a day…
“Some people cry when they chop onions. I find the trick is not to form an emotional attachment”
Cutting onions can cause many people to cry. It's not because they have strong emotional feelings for the onions, but there are jokes. "A lot of people cry when they chop onions, I…
“A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond”
Cutting onions can cause many people to cry. It's not because they have strong emotional feelings for the onions, but there are jokes. "A lot of people cry when they chop onions, I…
“A lot of people cry when they chop onions. I don’t. The trick is not to form an emotional bond”
Cutting onions can cause many people to cry. It's not because they have strong emotional feelings for the onions, but there are jokes. "A lot of people cry when they chop onions, I…
“If it doesn’t snow, I’m taking these groceries back”
Many people stock up on food before a snow storm, but what if the storm never materializes? "If it don't snow like its suppose to I'm taking all these groceries back to Walmart"…
“When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat”
"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade" is an old proverb. A jocular variation was posted on X/Twitter by krista on October 18, 2025: "When life hands me lemons, I put them in the…
“If it don’t snow, I’m returning all my groceries”
Many people stock up on food before a snow storm, but what if the storm never materializes? "If it don't snow like its suppose to I'm taking all these groceries back to Walmart"…
“If it don’t snow, I’m taking these groceries back”
Many people stock up on food before a snow storm, but what if the storm never materializes? "If it don't snow like its suppose to I'm taking all these groceries back to Walmart"…
“If you’re praying for a blizzard, please go to Dairy Queen”
"If you are praying for a blizzard, please go to Dairy Queen" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Dairy Queen restaurants feature a dairy dessert called a…
“If you are praying for a blizzard, please go to Dairy Queen”
"If you are praying for a blizzard, please go to Dairy Queen" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Dairy Queen restaurants feature a dairy dessert called a…
“I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day. He said ‘only if you make up the time’...”
When an employee has to "make up the time," that means, for example, staying late until a job is done. It doesn't mean making up a fictional time, but there are jokes. "I asked…
“I said to my boss ‘Do you mind if I leave a bit earlier today?’ ‘Only if you can make up the time,’ he replied…”
When an employee has to "make up the time," that means, for example, staying late until a job is done. It doesn't mean making up a fictional time, but there are jokes. "I asked…
“Doctor: Have you had any unexplained weight gain over the past year? Me: No, there are explanations.”
Doctors often ask about any "explained weight gain," but a patient usually knows where the fat came from. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by Just Me…Dee🐟 on December 17, 2023:…
“Cooking at home is a great way to have dinner at the same price as going to a restaurant a couple years ago”
Cooking at home is usually cheaper than eating out at a restaurant. However, the way food prices increase, cooking at home is about the same price as eating at a restaurant a few years ago. This…
“I will not eat my hurricane snacks early”
Many people prepare for an extreme weather event by buying snacks, but then there's the temptation to immediately eat them. "I WILL NOT EAT MY [HURRICANE/SNOWSTORM] SNACKS EARLY" is…