“Every calendar’s days are numbered”
"The calendar's days are numbered" is a jocular one-line saying that has been cited in print since at least 1899. "Every calendar's days are numbered" was included in…
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“Club sandwiches, not seals”
"Club sandwiches, not seals" is a humorous saying about a serious environmental topic that has been printed on T-shirts and many other gift items. The T-shirt saying has been cited in…
“Things I hate about work: 1. Waking up 2. Humans 3. Working”
A jocular statement about work has been printed on many images: "Things I hate about work:1. Waking up2. Humans3. Working" The list of three work complaints was first cited on Twitter on…
“Honk if you love Jesus. Text if you want to meet him” (bumper sticker)
"Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet him" is a popular bumper sticker to discourage texting while driving. "Honk if you love Jesus" has been on bumper…
“Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll” (grocery sign)
A jocular grocery sign was in the comic strip Frank and Ernest: "Produce Dept. Notice! Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll!" The Frank and Ernest comic strip joke was cited…
“My boss told me to have a great day. So I went home”
"My boss told me to have a good/great/nice day. So I went home" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "This morning my boss told me to have a good day... so I went…
Jewish Piano (a cash register)
Old-time cash registers had many sounds, such as rings, that were sweet music to merchants. The cash register was sometimes called a "Jewish piano," after the stereotype of Jews as…
“Phoney as a three-dollar bill” (“Queer as a three-dollar bill”)
Three-dollar bills were printed by various states in the 1800s, but there has never been a U.S. three-dollar bill. There are U.S. one-dollar bills and U.S. two-dollar bills. "Rufe Davis…
Newsie (newspaper seller)
Many children living in cities in the 1800s sold newspapers and shined shoes; they were called "newsies" and "shiners." The term "newsboy" -- they were almost…
“Cut up like boarding house pie” (many small pieces)
A boarding house usually has many boarders; boarding house pie is cut in many small slices so that each boarder has a piece. Anything that is cut many times into small pieces is said to be…
“Only angry people win football games”
University of Texas head football coach Darrell Royal (1924-2012) was quoted in August 1966: "Trends are bunk. Only angry people win football games." Royal was talking about football…
Newsie (newspaper seller)
Many children living in cities in the 1800s sold newspapers and shined shoes; they were called "newsies" and "shiners." The term "newsboy" -- they were almost…
Healther
The political term "healther" follows similar terms, such as "truther" (9/11 truth movement follower) and "birther" (presidential citizenship skeptic).…
“They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that’s real small pieces”
A boarding house usually has many boarders; boarding house pie is cut in many small slices so that each boarder has a piece. Anything that is cut many times into small pieces is said to be…
“Only angry people win football games”
University of Texas head football coach Darrell Royal (1924-2012) was quoted in August 1966: "Trends are bunk. Only angry people win football games." Royal was talking about football…
“If worms carried pistols, birds wouldn’t eat ‘em”
"If worms carried pistols, birds wouldn’t eat ‘em" ("If worms had machine guns, birds wouldn't eat them") is a saying of unknown origin. "If worms had machine…
“As crooked as Pearl Street”
"As crooked as Pearl Street" was a pet phrase of William S. Devery (1854-1919), a New York City police chief who directed the language to others. "He is more crooked than Pearl…
“Why is 6 afraid of 7?”/“Because 7 is a registered 6 offender”
A children’s number riddle is: Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 8 (ate) 9. A popular variation is: Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?A: Because 7 is a registered 6 offender. "Why is 6 afraid of…
“I like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer”
"I like my women like I like my coffee" is a meme that has been used on many images. "A Negro comedian pulled this one: 'I like my coffee strong and black -- the same way I like…
“I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup”
"I like my women like I like my coffee" is a meme that has been used on many images. "A Negro comedian pulled this one: 'I like my coffee strong and black -- the same way I like…