“Which do you prefer: chess or sex?”/“It depends on the position.”
Boris Spassky, who was WOrld Chess Champion from 1969 to 1972, was supposedly asked what he liked better, chess or sex? "It depends on the position," Spassky supposedly answered.…
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“Why did the stand-up comedian get a job at Domino’s?”/“He needed to work on his delivery.”
A stand-up comedian has to have a good "delivery." Several "delivery" jokes involve pizza delivery, postal delivery and an obstetrician's baby "delivery."…
“All those crosses along highways. Christians are terrible drivers”
Many streets have roadside memorials -- usually crosses -- to commemorate a tragic accident that occurred there. There are very few crescents (Islam) or stars of David (Judaism). A joke is:…
Apple Pie Trail (Blue Mountains, Ontario; Orange County, NY)
An "Apple Pie Trail" is a stretch where one can find apple pies (or just apples). The lodges in Nepal provided apple pies for foreign trekkers and became known as an "apple pie…
“A German walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A German version is: "A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender…
“While you are in New York, there is a bar that you have to go to” (joke)
There's a joke about the best bar in a big city (usually New York), as one person tells another. When you walk in, you're handed a free drink! Then, they take you in the back and you get…
“He may not be in a class by himself, but it doesn’t take long to call the roll”
Houston Oilers Coach Bum Phillips (1923-2013) said of his star running back Earl Campbell in November 1979: "Earl may not be in a class by himself, but whatever class he's in, it…
Pizzaflation (pizza + inflation)
"Pizzaflation" (pizza + inflation) is an infrequently used term. As printed in a 1987 newspaper. "pizzaflation" meant the inflation of pizza crust. A 2012 blog described…
Pizzaflation (pizza + inflation)
"Pizzaflation" (pizza + inflation) is an infrequently used term. As printed in a 1987 newspaper. "pizzaflation" meant the inflation of pizza crust. A 2012 blog described…
“Bill Gates walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Bill Gates version is: "Bill Gates walks into a bar and everyone inside becomes a…
Bumbling Bomber
Ahmad Khan Rahami allegedly set bombs in New York and New Jersey in September 2016. They didn't do much damage and Rahami was located sleeping in a doorway. The New York (NY) Daily News came…
“What’s the hardest part about skateboarding?”/“Telling your parents you’re gay.”
The American crime drama television series The Sopranos, on the episode "Cold Stones" that aired on May 21, 2006, contained this line: "What's the hardest thing about…
“Karma is a bitch”
"Karma is a bitch" probably relates to the sayings "life is a bitch" and "payback is a bitch." The "karma" in the saying is a combination of "life"…
“It only takes two to make an auction” (auction adage)
It takes two to tango, and it is said that it takes two to make an auction. It's not known where the auction saying began. "It takes two bids to make an auction sale" was cited in a…
“Congress is the only whorehouse that loses money”
It's an old saying that if government ran something (such as a casino or the racetrack), it would lose money. American economist John Rutledge said on Fox News on May 27, 2006: "Congress…
“If I had a dollar for every time I was told I was unattractive, I would be attractive”
A saying about the attractiveness of money is: "If I had a dollar for every time I was told I was unattractive to women, I'd be attractive to women." "If I had a dollar for…
“Why is Peter Pan such a bad boxer?”/“He never lands.”
A popular children's joke is: Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?A: Because he never lands. "Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he can Neverland!" was posted on a Disney-themed…
Official Bird of New York City (middle finger; pigeon)
New York City does not have an official bird. New York State's official bird is the eastern bluebird. It's sometimes said that the official "bird" of New York City is the middle…
“What’s the difference between a large chested lobster and a dirty bus stop?” (joke)
A popular joke -- so bad it's been called a "dad joke" -- is: Q: What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?"A: One's a crusty…
“What do you call someone who doesn’t like food fights?”/“A pasta-fist.”
"Pacifist" sounds like "pasta-fist." "I'm a pasta fist, that's right. Not a pacifist" was posted on Twitter on April 7, 2013. "Is it a coincidence that…