“An ill wind that nobody blows good” (musical instrument joke)
"It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good" is a proverb from the 16th century. In the 1920s, the proverb was expanded to jokingly describe musical instruments. "It's an…
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“Why can’t you take a turkey to church?”/“Because they use fowl language.”
A Thanksgiving turkey riddle is: Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church?A: Because they use fowl language. The turkey joke has been cited in print since at least 2002. 29 November 2002,…
“What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?”/“Plymouth rock.”
A popular Thanksgiving riddle is: Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?A: Plymouth rock. "Q: What kind of music do the Pilgrims listen to? A: Plymouth Rock" was printed in the…
“No Soliciting…unless you’re selling Girl Scout Cookies” (sign)
"No Soliciting...unless you're selling Thin Mints" is a jocular sign meaning that only Girl Scouts selling cookies (Thin Mints) need approach a residence or place of business. The…
“No Soliciting…unless you’re selling Thin Mints” (sign)
"No Soliciting...unless you're selling Thin Mints" is a jocular sign meaning that only Girl Scouts selling cookies (Thin Mints) need approach a residence or place of business. The…
“The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest”
"The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many ecards and posters. "The first five days after the #weekend are…
“The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest”
"The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many ecards and posters. "The first five days after the #weekend are…
“My government spent $1 trillion on the drug war and all I got was this lousy police state”
"My government spent $1 trillion on the drug war and all I got was this lousy police state" is a political statement that has been printed on bumper stickers. "I voted for obama and…
“Why did the turkey cross the road?”/“It was the chicken’s day off.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. Turkey versions have been popular, especially around Thanksgiving.…
“What smells best at Thanksgiving dinner?”/“Your nose.”
A "What smells best?" riddle involved a perfume shop in 1934: Q: What smells best in a perfume shop?A: Your nose. The "What smells best?" riddle involved a bakery in 1947: Q:…
“Where did the first corn come from?”/“The stalk brought it.”
The stork might bring babies, but what brings corn? There's a Thanksgiving riddle: Q: Where did the first corn come from?A: The stalk brought it. The riddle has been cited in print since at…
“I know how to load more than a washer & dryer” (pro-gun slogan)
"I know how to load more than a washer & dryer" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many shirts. "Dear guys, I know how to load more than the washer and dryer.…
“What key has legs and can’t open doors?”/“A turkey.”
A popular Thanksgiving turkey riddle is: Q: What key has legs and can't open doors?A: A turkey. Te riddle has been cited in print since at least 1998. “What’s the key to a great…
“Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?”/“To make up for a bad summer.”
"Humpty Dumpty" is an English nursery rhyme from the 1790s. American actor George L. Fox (1825-1877) played a clown Humpty Dumpty character at New York City's Olympic Theatre in the…
“What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?”/“Peach gobbler.”
A popular Thanksgiving riddle about peach cobbler is: Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert?A: Peach gobbler. The riddle was printed in many newspapers in July 2001. "Peach Gobbler"…
“Why don’t you eat fish on Thanksgiving?”/“Because Thanksgiving never falls on a fry day.”
People usually eat turkey -- and not fish -- on Thanksgiving, and there's a riddle: Q; Why don't you eat fish on Thanksgiving?A: Because Thanksgiving never falls on a FRY-day. The joke…
“What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?”/“The turkey.”
A popular riddle about Thanksgiving dinner is: Q: What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?A: The turkey. The riddle was posted to the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on November 25, 1999.…
“Why did the cranberries turn red?”/“Because they saw the turkey dressing.”
A popular Thanksgiving riddle about turkey and cranberries is: Q: Why did the cranberries turn red?A: Because they saw the turkey dressing? "Do you know why the cranberries were red? -- They…
“What kind of key opens a haunted house?”/“A spoo-key.”
A popular Halloween haunted house riddle is: Q: What kind of key opens the door of a haunted house?A: A spoo-key. The joke was included in the book Holiday Howlers: Jokes for Punny Parties (2004).…
“If money really did grow on trees, everyone’s favorite season would be fall”
"Money doesn't grow on trees" is an old American proverb. American humorist Robert Orben wrote a variation in his book 2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches (1984): "Lazy? If…