“A group of homophones wok inn two a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A homophone version is: "A group of homophones wok inn two a bar..." "Wok…
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“What does a fat cow give you?”/“Homework!”
Are elementary school teachers fat? A popular joke goes: Teacher: If a chicken gives you meat and a pig gives you bacon, what does a fat cow give you?Stuident: Homework! The joke was cited on…
“Why don’t ghosts like rain?”/“It dampens their spirits.”
A popular Halloween riddle about ghosts is: Q: Why don't ghosts like rain?A: It dampens their spirits. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1987. “Why do ghosts like to ride in…
“My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep, not like his passengers”
"Like my grandfather, I wish to die peacefully in my sleep, not screaming like the passengers in his car" was posted to the newsgroup info.sun-managers on August 31, 1993. The joke soon…
“What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?”/“Spelling.”
A witch riddle included in many Halloween joke collections is: Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?A: Spelling. The joke appears to have been included in the book Witches,…
“What do ghosts put on their mashed potatoes?”/“Grave-y.”
"Grave-y" (gravy) is a typical Halloween dish. "Boned foul with grave-y" was a Halloween menu selection printed in an October 1961 newspaper. "What do ghosts put on their…
“What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?”/“A milk dud.”
A popular riddle about Milk Duds candy is: Q: What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?A: A milk dud. The joke was cited in print in 1972. A slightly different version was posted on…
“What did the cute Starburst say to the Mars Bar?”/“Going my Milky Way?”
A joke about cosmic candy names is: Q: What did the cute Starburst say to the Mars Bar?A: Going my Milky Way? The joke was posted on Twitter on May 16, 2012. Wikipedia: Starburst…
“What do skeletons say before they begin dining?”/“Bone appétit.”
Many people say "Bon appétit!" before dining, but there's a popular Halloween riddle: Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?A: Bone appétit. The joke has been cited in…
“What do ghosts eat for dessert?”/“I scream (ice scream).”
A Halloween riddle about dessert is: Q: What do ghosts eat for dessert?A: I scream (ice scream). "I Scream" has been a Halloween dessert since at least 1956. "What do ghosts eat for…
“What did one hash brownie say to the other?”/“We’re so baked.”
A hash brownie joke is: Q: What did one hash brownie say to the other?A: We're so baked. "What did the burnt brownie say to the blueberry muffin? 'Dudeeeee.... I'm. So.…
“Monday, Joe got drunk on gin and soda water…Soda water causes drunkenness” (joke)
A joke about faulty inductive logic is: "Monday, Joe got drunk on gin and soda water. Tuesday, Joe got drunk on bourbon and soda water. Wednesday, Joe got drunk on vodka and soda water.…
“I got fired at the pickle factory” (joke)
One of the top sex jokes of all time is about the pickle factory worker who has an urge to put his penis in the pickle slicer. When he finally fulfills the urge, he gets fired. "What happened…
“I’m not cheap. I’m frugal”
"I'm not cheap. I'm frugal" is what some non-spenders say. American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) possibly popularized the saying in a June 1987 newspaper column that ended:…
“What do ghosts eat for lunch?”/“Spookghetti.”
A Halloween joke on spaghetti is: Q; What do ghosts eat for lunch?A:Spookghetti. "Spooketti" was cited in print in 1935. "What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spookghetti" was cited…
“What do ghosts eat for breakfast?”/“Dreaded wheat.”
A Halloween ghost pun on shredded wheat is: Q: What do ghosts eat for breakfast?A: Dreaded wheat. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1983. “What do ghosts eat for…
“What do ghosts eat for dinner?”/“Ghoulash.”
Goulash doesn't contain any ghouls, but there's a Halloween riddle: Q: What do ghosts eat for dinner?A: Ghoulash. "Ghoul-ash" was cited in Halloween-related news stories in 1946…
“How do you make a cream puff?”/“Chase it around the block.”
A cream puff riddle is: Q: How do you make a cream puff?A: Chase it around the block. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1987. “How do you make a cheese puff?"/"Chase it…
“How do you make an apple puff?”/“Chase it around the garden.”
An apple puff riddle is: Q: How do you make an apple puff?A: Chase it around the garden. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1975. “How do you make a cheese puff?"/"Chase it…
“What did the apple skin say to the apple?”/“I’ve got you covered.”
An apple riddle is: Q: What did the apple skin say to the apple?A: I’ve got you covered. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. "What did the rug say to the…