“What do you call a sleeping pizza?”/“A pizzzza.”
A pizza riddle is: Q: What do you call a sleeping pizza?A: A pizzzza. "Zzzz" indicates sleeping or snoring. "What do you call a sleepy pizza? A pizzzzZzzzZZzzza" was posted on…
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“A stinky man walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A "bar of soap" version is: "A stinky man walks into a bar. Unfortunately it…
“What do you call a microbiologist in an orchestra?”/“A cell-ist.”
An orchestra riddle about a cellist is: Q: What do you call a microbiologist in an orchestra?A: A cell-ist. The joke was posted to Twitter on May 17, 2014. TwitterLeah Ran@leahaelrWhat do you…
“What do you call a group of whales playing instruments?”/“An orca-stra.”
An orchestra riddle is: Q: What do you call a group of killer whales playing musical instruments?A: An orca-stra. The joke was published in Boys' Life magazine in May 1996. Wikipedia: Killer…
“What do you call cheese by itself?”/“Provolone.”
A cheese riddle has been printed on GIFs: Q: What do you call cheese by itself?A: Prov-alone (Provolone). The joke was posted to Reddit on June 10, 2014. Wikipedia: ProvoloneProvolone (pronounced…
“Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally”
"Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The joke was first cited on Thought Catalog and then…
“What did the turkey say before it was roasted?”/“Boy! I’m stuffed!”
A Thanksgiving turkey riddle is: Q: What did the turkey say before it was roasted?A: "Boy! I'm stuffed!" The joke has been cited in print since at least 1973. “Who doesn’t eat on…
Favoritism Before Integrity (Federal Bureau of Investigation or FBI nickname)
The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) was criticized by many Americans in 2016 for its investigation of presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. The website iOTWReport.com on September 30, 2016…
“When do you serve tofu turkey?”/“Pranksgiving.”
Some people serve tofu "turkey" on Thanksgiving, and there's a riddle: Q: When do you serve tofu turkey?A: On Pranksgiving. A dish that is not actual turkey is appropriate for…
“What is a Jewish dilemma?”/“Free ham.”
A Jewish joke about food and money is: Q: What is a Jewish dilemma?A: Free ham. Ham is forbidden (not kosher) under Jewish dietary law -- but it's free! The joke was included in the book Truly…
Female Body Inspector (Federal Bureau of Investigation or FBI nickname)
The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is sometimes jokingly nicknamed "Female Body Inspector" -- especially on caps and T-shirts. "Female Body Inspector" for "FBI"…
Manhattan of the Middle East (Abu Dhabi, Dubai and Tel Aviv nickname)
New York City's borough of Manhattan is known for its tall buildings and its business and entertainment industries. Several cities have been dubbed the "Manhattan of the Middle…
“Why did the pilgrim eat a candle?”/“He wanted a light snack.”
A riddle about "having a light snack" is: Q: Why did the monster eat a light bulb?A: He wanted a light snack. "Why did the boy go to the lamp shop to eat his lunch? He wanted a light…
“I had a life…but my job ate it”
"I had a life...but my job ate it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. "Bumper sticker of the day: I had a life but my job ate it" was posted to…
“Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune”
Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard (1868-1930) drew the popular newspaper comic strip Abe Martin of Brown County. A strip in July 1923 made a one-line observation about classical music:…
“Why do turkeys always go ‘Gobble! Gobble!’?”/“Because they never learned good table manners.”
A popular Thanksgiving turkey riddle is: Q: Why do turkeys always go "Gobble! Gobble!"?A: Because they never learned good table manners. The "gobble" joke has been cited in…
“Any team can have a bad century” (“Anyone can have a bad century”)
"Anyone can have a bad game" is a sports saying of unknown origin. "Any team can have a bad century" ("Anyone can have a bad cenury") is a sports saying that has been…
“Why do hens lay eggs?”/“Because if they dropped them they’d break.”
A popular riddle about eggs has been cited in print since at least 1893: Q: Why do hens lay eggs?A: Because if they dropped them they would break. A Thanksgiving version of the riddle involving…
“Catch and kill” (buying and burying a news story)
"Catch and kill" is the process that a tabloid newspaper buys and then buries a news story. The newspaper pays for the exclusive rights to the story, and then decides not to publish it --…
“Why did Johnny get low grades after Thanksgiving?”/“Everything is marked down after the holidays.”
A joke is told about a parent reading a report card: FATHER/MOTHER: Johnny, why did you get such low grades after Thanksgiving/Christmas?JOHNNY: Everything is marked down after the holidays. The…