Planned Predators (Planned Parenthood nickname)
Planned Parenthood is an organization that provides reproductive health and maternal and child health services. A Washington (DC) Times editorial on December 4, 2003 opposing Planned Parenthood was…
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“What cake is as hard as a rock?”/“Marble cake.”
A marble cake riddle is: Q: What cake is as hard as a rock?A: Marble cake. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1976. "What cake would a sculptor use? Marble" was printed in…
“What is the loudest sport?”/“Tennis, because everyone raises a racquet.”
A tennis riddle is: Q: What is the loudest sport?A: Tennis, because everyone raises a racquet (racket). "Why is tennis such a noisy game? Because every player raises a racket" was printed…
“Why are many umpires fat?”/“Because they always clean their plate.”
Baseball umpires frequently dust off home plate. A baseball riddle is: Q: Why are many umpires fat?A: Because they always clean their plate. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2006.…
“Government is like a baby, with a big appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other”
A jocular definition of a baby has been cited in print since at least 1937: "A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud mouth at one end and without responsibility at the other." Ronald…
“What kind of car will a bitcoiner never drive?”/“A Fiat.”
Bitcoin is a cryptocurrency -- the opposite of fiat money (such as U.S. dollars). A riddle is: Q: What kind of car will a bitcoiner never drive?A: A Fiat. The bitcoin joke was posted on Reddit on…
“Why did the cantaloupe jump into the lake?”/“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
A watermelon riddle is: Q: Why did the cantaloupe jump into the lake?A: It wanted to be a watermelon. The riddle was published in Boys' Life magazine in July 2006. Google BooksJuly 2006,…
News Klux Klan (news + Ku Klux Klan)
"News Klux Klan" (news + Ku Klux Klan) is a term used for a news media that is intolerant (like the KKK). "FOX News Klux Klan" was posted on Twitter on February 22, 2011. The…
“Why are many umpires fat?”/“Because they always clean their plate.”
Baseball umpires frequently dust off home plate. A baseball riddle is: Q: Why are many umpires fat?A: Because they always clean their plate. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2006.…
“I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary” (Yogi Berra Night)
New York Yankees rookie player Yogi Berra (1925-2015) was honored with a Yogi Berra Night on June 6, 1947 at his old neighborhood in St. Louis, Missouri. Berra wrote in the book When You Come to a…
“You can’t hit and think at the same time” (baseball saying)
A story was told in the June 12, 1947 New York (NY) Times about Yankees baseball player Yogi Berra (1925-2015) that manager Bucky Harris (who first managed the Yankees in 1947) told Berra to think…
“What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey?”/“Pleased to eat you.”
A Thanksgiving turkey riddle is: Q: What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey?A: "Pleased to eat you." The riddle was posted to the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on November 29,…
“I’d like to thank my parents for making this possible and my children for making it necessary”
Danish and American pianist and comedian Victor Borge (1909-2000) was cited in a February 1958 newspaper for ending his performance with this jocular line: "I want to thank my parents for…
“What did the baseball glove say to the baseball?”/“Catch you later!”
A baseball riddle is: Q: WHat did the baseball glove say to the baseball?A: "Catch you later!" The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2002. Google BooksSuper Silly RiddlesBy…
“What did the pancake say to the baseball player?”/“Batter up!”
A baseball riddle is: Q: What did the pancake say to the baseball player?A: "Batter up!" The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1997. “How is a baseball team like a…
“This will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave”
Elmer Davis (1890-1958), an author and New York (NY) Times political reporter and editorial writer, wrote in the book But We Were Born Free. (1954): "This will remain the land of the free only…
“The only easy day was yesterday” (Navy SEAL motto)
The motto of the United States Navy SEALs is written on the Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL (BUD/S) Training course at the Naval Special Warfare Training Center in Coronado, California: "The…
“In war, there are no unwounded soldiers”
Argentine writer José Narosky is credited with: "In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.""En la guerra, no hay soldados ilesos." The quotation has been cited in English since…
“What happened when the waiter dropped the Thanksgiving meal?” (joke)
If a waiter drops a tray containing a Thanksgiving dinner, it's "the downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece, and the breaking up of China." The joke -- originally not a…
“What school supply is always tired?”/“A knapsack.”
Do knapsacks take naps? A jocular "daffynition" (daffy + definition) was cited in 1943: "Knapsack: a sleeping bag." A school riddle has been cited in print since at least 2007:…