“A horse walks into a bar…” (bar anti-joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular version involving a horse is: "A horse walks into a bar and the barman says,…
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“There is no life without water because water is needed to make coffee”
"There is no life without water because water is needed to make coffee" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The coffee meme became popular on July 4, 2012.…
“Pros and cons of making food: Pros=food Cons=making”
"Pros and cons of making food: Pros=food Cons=making" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. The one-liner was posted on Twitter on September 15, 2013.…
“Why don’t blind people go skydiving?”/“Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.”
A riddle about the sport of skydiving is: Q: Why don't blind people go skydiving?A: Because it scares the hell out of their dogs. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1989. Google…
“There’s no life without water. Without water, there’s no coffee. Without coffee, I’ll kill you all”
"There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I'll kill you all" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge”
"I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on March 10, 2011. TwitterVal G@valmanI…
“Two clowns are eating a cannibal” (joke)
“Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?"/"Because they taste funny!” is a classic joke. "Met someone today who accidentally started the joke 'Two clowns are eating a…
“What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?” (computer piracy joke)
A sea pirate's favorite letter might be "R." "What's a pirate's least favorite letter?" is the subject of a computer piracy joke. "I think a pirate's…
“Promises and pie crust are made to be broken”
Entry in progress -- B.P. (Oxford English Dictionary)piecrust, n.In proverbial and allusive use, with reference to a promise that is easily or casually broken.1681 Heraclitus Ridens 16 Aug. v/1 He…
“I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry”
"I'm sorry for what I said when I was hungry" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was first posted on Twitter on April 11, 2012. TwitterGeneva…
“Why was Cinderella thrown off the baseball team?”/“Because she ran away from the ball.”
A popular sports riddle involving the folk tale character of Cinderella is: Q: Why was Cinderella thrown off the baseball team?A: Because she ran away from the ball. The joke has been cited in…
“I just don’t want to look back and think, ‘I could’ve eaten that’”
"I just don't want to look back and think, 'I could've eaten that'" is a jocular line that has been printed on GIFs. "I just don’t want to look back and think,…
“The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee”
"The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on many images. The saying was first posted on Twitter on May 9,…
“Give up carbs? Over my bread body”
"Give up carbs? Over my bread body" is a jocular saying -- a bread pun on "over my dead body" -- that has been printed on GIFs. “Emma eating only carbs is rlly unhealthy you…
“Eat like no one is watching. Or dance. Whatever”
The song "Come from the Heart" (1987) by Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh contains the lyrics: "Sing like no one is listening.Love like you’ve never been hurt.Dance like nobody’s…
“Finally, my winter fat is gone. Now I have spring rolls”
"Finally, my winter fat is gone. Now I have spring rolls" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "You know what spring rolls are, right? Left over winter…
“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries”
"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries" is a jocular saying that has been printed on T-shirts and posters. "I keep getting exercise and extra fries mixed up" was cited on…
“Exercise…eggs are sides…for bacon”
"EXERCISE... exercise...exarsize...eggs are sides...for bacon!" is a jocular line that has been printed on many T-shirts and GIFs. "Exercise -> x-ar-size -> eggs are sides…
“Rice cakes really satisfy my cravings for styrofoam”
Do rice cards taste unpleasant, like eating cardboard or styrofoam? "Rice cakes really satisfy my cravings for styrofoam" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on an ecard.…
“Pandas are living proof that you can be fat just by eating salad”
"Pandas are living proof that you can be fat just by eating salad" is a jocular one-liner about salad that has been printed on many images. "PANDAS -- proof that you can go vegan and…