“I went bobsleighing the other day. Killed 20 Bobs”
A popular -- and obvious -- bobsleighing joke is: "I went bobsleighing the other day. Killed/Slayed/Sleighed 20 Bobs." The number of "Bobs" (or "bobs") has varied.…
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“If even the inspector says ‘Pass’ on a restaurant, why should I try it?”
Health inspectors pass or fail restaurants. A joke about this is: "If even the inspector says "Pass" on a restaurant, why should I try it?" The joke was posted on Reddit --…
“First rule of Vegan Club: You tell everyone about Vegan Club”
Vegans have a reputation of telling everyone that they're vegans. “How do you know if someone is a vegan?"/"Don’t worry, they’ll tell you" is a popular joke. "First…
“The high-jump event is basically reverse limbo”
In limbo, the object is to go under a bar that gets lower and lower. In the high jump, the object is to go over a bar that gets higher and higher. "I just called high jump 'reverse…
“Couldn’t believe dad stole from his road worker job. But when I got home, all the signs were there”
"I never wanted to believe that my dad stole from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there" is a joke that was posted on Twitter on August 31, 2011. The joke…
“‘A fraction of the cost’ is misleading as hypothetically, something could be 3/2 of the cost”
Businesses sometimes say that a product is being sold at "a fraction of the cost." That usually means that the product is on sale, but what is the fraction? "'At a fraction of…
“Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of a homeless person at a job fair”
"Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of a homeless person at a job fair" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Reddit -- Shower…
“If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher”
"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" is an old proverb meaning that everyone's situation in life is seemingly (if not actually) more desirable than one's…
“Latin is a language as dead as dead can be. It killed the ancient Romans and now it’s killing me”
Students of Latin has long said versions of this rhyme: "Latin is a language As dead as dead can be. It killed the ancient Romans And now it's killing me." A version printed in the…
“Which animal is the best at barbecuing?”/“The grilla.”
"Gorilla" can be shortened to "'grilla," which is almost like "grill." A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on August 28, 2017: Q: Which animal is the best…
“There is no gym for your face”
"There is no gym for your face" is a saying that has been printed on many images. It means the same thing as "there is no cure for ugly." "'Nice body. Too bad…
“What is the most well behaved drink?”/“Tea because the others are not tea.”
"Naughty" sounds like "not tea." A riddle form of this was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 22, 2017: Q: What is the most well behaved drink?A: Tea because the others are…
“What do you call a ceiling bill that makes you pass out?”/“A roof fee!”
"Roofie" (a date rape drug) sounds like "roof fee." A riddle was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on September 22, 2017: Q: What do you call a ceiling bill that makes you pass…
“My wife gets annoyed if I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and lemonade & she’s sangria”
"He's/She's sangria" sounds like "he's/she's angrier." "My brother keeps getting mad that I tamper with his red wine. So I added some oranges and…
“What do you call a cow with a stutter that makes chocolate milk?”/“Cacao.”
"Cacao: a way to say cow with a stutter" was posted on Twitter on December 24, 2011. A riddle form of this was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 21, 2017: Q: What do you call a cow…
“What falls down but never gets hurt?”/“Rain.”
A riddle about the rain is: Q: What falls down but never gets hurt?A: Rain. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1962. Newspapers.com 3 November 1962, Courier-Post (Camden, NJ),…
“Why did the pirate ask to get a mortgage with 3.142 percent interest?”/“He wanted the pi-rate!”
A pirate riddle is: Q: Why did the pirate ask to get a mortgage with 3.142 percent interest?A: He wanted the pi-rate! The joke was posted on PirateJokes.net on February 21, 2015. "Why did the…
“Why don’t pirates need lawyers?”/“They prefer to settle through ARRrrrbitration.”
A pirate riddle is: Q: Why don't pirates need lawyers?A: They prefer to settle through ARRrrrbitration! The joke was posted on PirateJokes.net on September 18, 2010, and has been printed on an…
“Sex is like music: For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free”
"Sex is like music: for every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free" is a popular line for the internet age. The saying was posted on Twitter on September…
“Since Latin is a dead language, I expect it would be pretty useful in a zombie apocalypse”
Some people proclaim that Latin is a dead language, prompting a joke that has been printed on images: "If Latin is a dead language, does that mean zombies speak Latin?" "If Latin is…