“Old ways won’t open new doors”
"Old ways won't open new doors" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Old ways don't open new doors" was posted on Twitter on February 9,…
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“Flight attendants go to boarding school”
"Do flight attendants have to go to boarding school?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Pundamentalism on September 20, 2011. "When I was six-years-old, my parents sent me…
“Flight attendants go to boarding school”
"Do flight attendants have to go to boarding school?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Pundamentalism on September 20, 2011. "When I was six-years-old, my parents sent me…
“Kind people are my kinda people”
"Kind people are my kinda people" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Kind people are my kind of people" was posted on Twitter on March 31, 2011. "Kind…
“Since an avocado is a fruit, does that make guacamole a fruit salad?”
"So, if avocado if a fruit, does that make guacamole a fruit salad????" was posted on Twitter on July 7, 2011. "Since an avocado is a fruit...does that make guacamole fruit…
“I went to go shopping for cherries and microphones the other day. Bought a Bing, bought a boom”
"Bada bing, bada boom!" is an expression to emphasize something regarded as surprising, sudden, effortlessly achieved or impressive. There have been many puns on the expression, with a…
“If Columbus had had an advisory committee he would probably still be at the dock”
A statement against committees was published in a February 1962 newspaper: "Secretary of Labor Goldberg, always a free-wheeling operator, frets over the time-consuming committees which have…
“Why do fish swim in schools?”/“Because they can’t walk in schools.”
A school riddle is: Q: Why do fish swim in schools?A: Because they can't walk in schools. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. when it was printed on a Laffy Taffy wrapper.…
“This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies”
People who go to the gym can be self-absorbed. "This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "This guy at the…
“Snow that doesn’t stick is disappointment rain”
"Snow that doesn't stick is just worthless cold ass rain... sigh" was posted on Twitteron November 30, 2010. "Snow that doesn't stick is just fluffy rain…
“Where can you go to get a lap dance and a decent steak?”/“The New York Strip Club.”
A "New York strip steak" has nothing to do with a New York strip club (although some clubs serve the steak), but there are jokes. "When I'm in a steak house I order the NY…
“The hospital you were born in is the only building you leave without entering”
"Also, night thought: the hospital you were born in is the only building you’ll leave but not have entered" is a saying that was posted on Twitter on March 31, 2017. "The hospital…
“Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh”
"Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on February 22, 2011. Twitter⇦IG :…
“I’m very pleased with my new fridge magnet. So far I’ve got twelve fridges”
A refrigerator (or "fridge") magnet sticks to a refrigerator, but certainly isn't powerful enough to pull in a refrigerator. A joke was posted on Twitter on January 28, 2011:…
“What do you say to a naked pig?”/“I never sausage a body.”
A pig riddle is: Q: What do you say to a naked pig?A: "I never sausage a body." The "sausage"/"saw such" pun was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on February 23,…
“Avocado salsa is just guacamole”
Guacamole contains avocados; avocado salsa contains avocados. Guacamole is not the same as avocado salsa -- salsa is usually hotter -- but many people believe that they are the same. "Or make…
“What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?”/“A catameringue.”
A catamaran doesn't contain any meringue, but there's a riddle: Q: What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?A: A catameringue. The "catameringue" pun has been…
“I think it’s neat to order whisky, no ice”
A "neat" alcoholic drink is one that is poured straight in the glass -- without ice or anything else. "Know what's neat? no ice" was posted on Twitter on June 12, 2009.…
“What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?”/“A catameringue.”
A catamaran doesn't contain any meringue, but there's a riddle: Q: What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?A: A catameringue. The "catameringue" pun has been…
“Why shouldn’t you put avocados in your eyes?”/“You could get guacoma.”
"Guacoma" is a portmanteau word that can mean a disease from eating too much guacamole (guacamole + coma) or a disease of the eyes caused by guacamole (guacamole + glaucoma).…