“What do cats read in the morning?”/“Mewspapers.”
A cat riddle is: Q: What do cats read in the morning?A: Mewspapers. The newspaper joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. Google BooksThe Kids' Cat BookBy Laima Dingwall and Annabel…
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“What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?”/“It’s all in the grip.”
A saxophone riddle is: Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?A: It’s all in the grip. That is, there is no difference musically. The saxophone joke was posted on the…
“Cinnamon is really just delicious sawdust”
Cinnamon is made from the bark of Cinnamomum trees. Cinnamon powder has been compared to sawdust. "Ground cinnamon is sawdust. But there is good sawdust and bad sawdust," a Chicago (IL)…
“Poorly constructed burritos get a bad wrap”
A burrito is a wrap. "The hearty little burrito is getting a bad wrap" -- a pun on "bad rap" -- was printed in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on March 4, 1998. "Broken burritos…
“What do you call a line dancer on a cruise?”/“An ocean liner.”
A line dancer riddle is: Q: What do you call a line dancer on a cruise?A: An ocean liner. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. SL-T.netCategory: Dance jokesDate Added:…
“James Joyce walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version about Irish author James Joyce (1882-1941) is: "James Joyce walks into a…
“How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?”/“Never enough.”
A lawyer joke is: Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?A: Never enough. The lawyer joke has been cited in print since at least 1989. Google Groups: rec.humorLife 5.HHenry Cate…
“Teacher: Why are you late for class?” (school joke)
A school joke has been printed on several images: TEACHER: Tell the class why you're late.STUDENT: Someone told me to go to hell.STUDENT: Couldn't find it at first.STUDENT: But now…
“When nudists are nervous about giving a speech, do they imagine everyone with their clothes on?”
"Imagine the audience naked" is a saying about performing or giving a speech. Is the opposite true? "If you ever have to give a speech to a group of nudists and you think you’ll…
“Well, well, well. Welcome to stutter class”
"Well, well, well" is a common interjection. A joke was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia Official on June 23, 2013: "Well, well, well... Welcome to stutter class. #sickipedia"…
“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace”
"Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles. It takes away today's peace" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on…
“Is it okay to bring marijuana brownies to pot luck dinner?”
A "pot luck" or "potluck" dinner is one where each guest brings a dish. The dish usually does not contain "pot" (marijuana). "They had a 'pot luck'…
“We had a candlelit dinner last night. Everything was extremely under-cooked”
A "candlelit dinner" usually has candles on the dinner table. The meal is usually not cooked with candles, but that's a joke that has been credited to English comedian Tim Vine. Vine…
“I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scanned it”
A zebra has stripes; some people have compared this to a barcode. "I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scanned it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images.…
“Gotham criminals should only do crime on cloudless nights”
Batman is a fictional superhero appearing in American comic books published by DC Comics. He saves Gotham City -- similar to New York City -- from crime. Batman is summoned by Gotham City Police…
“Aim so high that others will think you’re crazy”
"Aim so high that others will think you're crazy" is a motivational saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 17, 2016. "Reach…
“I love you to the fridge and back”
"I love you to the fridge and back" (or just "love you to the fridge and back") -- meaning "I love you a lot" -- is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Pomegranate is the corn of fruit”
A pomegranate has many seeds; corn has many kernels. "Pomegranates are like the corn of fruit" was posted on Twitter on January 12, 2010. "Pomegranates are the corn of fruit"…
“I bought cherries and cherry bombs. Bought a Bing, bought a boom”
"Bada bing, bada boom!" is an expression to emphasize something regarded as surprising, sudden, effortlessly achieved or impressive. There have been many puns on the expression, with a…
“Checking your phone when someone pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation”
"Checking your phone when someone pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation" is a saying that was posted on Twitter by Drew Schnoebelen on February 20, 2012. The phone saying…